A boy at a cinema notices what looks like a bear sitting next to him "Are you a bear?"
"Yes"
"What are you doing at the movies?"
"Well, I liked the book!"
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What do reindeer say before telling you a joke?
This one will sleigh you.
Q: Why do fish live in to the salt water?
A: For the reason that pepper makes them sneeze!
What did the bunny want to do when he grew up?
Join the Hare Force.
Patty was sitting in her back yard digging a hole to bury her dead goldfish. Mrs. Johnson, who lived next door, was watching her over the fence.
Mrs. Johnson said, "Patty, what are you doing?"
Patty said, "I'm digging a hole to bury my dead goldfish."
Mrs. Johnson said, "Patty, don't you think that hole is a little BIG for a goldfish?"
Patty said, "No...it's inside your damn cat!"
Q: What is worst than raining black cats and bloodhounds?
A: Hailing taxi cabs!
The more people I meet, the more I like my cat.
Roses are red.
Your blood is too.
You look like a monkey
And belong in a zoo.
Do not worry,
I'll be there too.
Not in the cage,
But laughing at you.
Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead.
Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
Vote:
Man decides to buy a pet, but does not know what he wants as a pet, so he goes to the pet shop in search of a pet.
He sees cats in a cage dogs on another cage spiders, rabbits, frogs, birds, fish in aquariums and finally he sees a very colorful parrot in the corner of the store and he goes to the area where the parrot was and salesman asks him, "Are you interested in this parrot?"
The man says, "Does he talk?" the salesman says, "If you pull his left leg he will say the our father and if you pull his right leg, he will say the hailmary!"
The man says, "What will the parrot say if I pull both legs at the same time?"
The parrot says, "I'll fall on my ass stupid!"