A boy at a cinema notices what looks like a bear sitting next to him "Are you a bear?"
"Yes"
"What are you doing at the movies?"
"Well, I liked the book!"
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What is the slowest racehorse in the world?
A clotheshorse.
A woman went to the doctor's and complained of being really sore.
"Do you have any idea why?"
"Well, I had sex with an elephant!"
"You did?
But elephants are known to have small penises!"
"Yeah, but he fingered me first."
Why do milking stools only have three legs?
'Cause the cow's got the udder!
Q: How do you know Noah was a White man?
A: No nigger could stay on a boat for 40 days without eating the chickens!
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A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Hunting flies," He responded.
"Oh, killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, three males, two females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell?
He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."
Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors?
Because, if it had 4 doors it would be chicken sedan.
A man walks by a table in a casino and passes three men and a dog playing cards.
‘That’s a very smart dog,’ says the man.
‘He’s not so clever,’ says one of the players.
‘Every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail.’
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
Chuck norris once killed a bear with an imaginary knife.
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