What's a pet's favorite day? Saint Petrick's Day.
Three mice in a pub having a bevy discussing who's the hardest. 1st mouse says I'm the hardest I go up to mousetraps rip the cheese out and as the bar comes down i bench press it 30 times and throw it across the room! 2nd mouse says : you poof! I get rat poison' crush it into powder and snort it. 3rd mouse finishes his drink, gets up and walks to the door, where are you going? asked the other 2. Home he replied to shag the cat!
Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra .... After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra Eventually died
A stallion and a mare where due to get married, but the stallion didn't show up at the church. He got colt feet.
Why does the chicken is sad? Because his dad is a cock. Why does the chicken is even more sad? Because he faces the same future.
A skunk and a rabbit were running through the woods and accidentally they collided with each other. They both got amnesia from the crash. "Who am I? What am I?" said the rabbit confused. "Well, you're one such... with a short tail, long ears..." "I guess!" shouted the rabbit, "I'm a rabbit!" "And what am I?" asked the skunk. "Ah! Yes. You're one such hairy, smelly, with a strip in the middle..." "Wow!", yelled the skunk, "Probably I'm an ass!"
Why don't lobsters share? They re shellfish.
How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group? Look for gray hares.
Q: What do you get if you mix a rabbit and a snake? A: A jump rope!
Q. What's black and white and green? A. A frog sitting on a newspaper.