What's a pet's favorite day?
Saint Petrick's Day.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
What to polar bears eat for lunch?
(Ice berg-ers!)
Why is a bunny the luckiest animal in the world?
It has 4 rabbits feet.
I was walking home last night when I noticed an old drunk staggering along the road.
He passed a woman who was walking a young child. "Lady", said the drunk, "that's the ugliest kid I've ever seen.
Damn, that is one ugly child!."
As the drunk wandered off, the lady burst into tears.
Just then, a mailman came to her rescue.
"What's the matter, madam?" he asked.
"I've just been horribly insulted" she sobbed.
"There there," said the mailman, reaching into his pocket.
"Dry your eyes with this tissue, and here's a banana for the chimp"
A mouse and an elephant are walking through the forest.
The elephant falls in a hole so the mouse gets his Porsche throws a rope down into the hole and pulls the elephant out.
So they continue walking and the mouse falls into a hole.
The elephant throws his dick into the hole and the mouse climbs out.
Moral of the story: if you have a big enough dick you don't need a Porsche.
What do you get if you cross a skunk and an owl?
A bird that stinks but doesn't give a hoot.
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
The male worm towards the female worm:
Baby, if you don’t take me as you’re husband, I’m throwing myself to the chickens!
There is three kids sitting at the lunch table one day.
One kid ask what do you call a mixed baby?
One replies a zebra,another replies a mistake and the third one replies.
Rape
A blonde desserts her home town out of shame, and colors her hair brown.
She drives past a farm and sees all the sheep.
She goes up to the farmer and ask, "If I guess how many sheep you have can I have one?"
The farmer nodded. She continued. "159" The farmer is surprised. "How did you know?"
"Lucky guess" She grabs one and gets in her car.
The farmer comes up and says, "If I can guess your real hair color can I get my dog back?"