Joke #10479

What's a pet's favorite day? Saint Petrick's Day.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, and so on. After the seventh order, the bartender pours two beers and says, "You fellas ought to know your limits."
Vote: has 69.99 % from 75 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, bar, food, math
What do you get if you cross a cow with a spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster? A cockerpoodlemoo.
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dog
Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
Vote: has 50.70 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, death, lawyer
Three bulls heard the rancher was bringing another bull onto the ranch. First Bull: "I've been here five years. I'm not giving this new bull any of my 100 cows." Second Bull: "I've been here three years and have earned my right to 50 cows. I'm keeping all my cows." Third Bull: "I've only been here a year, and so far, you guys have only let me have 10 cows. I may not be as big as you fellows, but I'm keeping all 10 of my cows." Just then an 18-wheeler pulls up in the pasture carrying the biggest bull they've ever seen. At 4,700 pounds, each step he takes strains the steel ramp. First Bull: "I think I can spare a few cows for our new friend." Second Bull: "I actually have too many cows to take care of. I can spare a few. I'm certainly not looking for an argument." They look over at the third bull and find him pawing the dirt, shaking his horns and snorting. First Bull: "Son, don't be foolish, let him have some of your cows and live to tell about it." Third Bull: "Hell, he can have all my cows. I'm just making sure he knows I'm a bull."
Vote: has 83.40 % from 111 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal
A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog is thrilled, "This is great! "Will I meet her at a party?" he croaks. "No," says the psychic, "in biology class."
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, beauty, phone, school, science
The more people I meet, the more I like my cat.
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal
When Chuck Norris gets angry, forests explode from their own boiling sap. When Chuck Norris laughs, flowers bloom and butterflies hatch.
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Q. What's black and white and green? A. A frog sitting on a newspaper.
Vote: has 18.69 % from 7 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal
The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them what calibre the bullet was that killed the animal. The hunter said that he was willing to prove it if they would put up the drinks, and so the bet was on. They blindfolded him carefully and took him to his first animal skin. After feeling it for a few moments, he announced "Bear." Then he felt the bullet hole and declared, "Shot with a .308 rifle." He was right. They brought him another skin, one that someone had in their car trunk. He took a bit longer this time and then said, "Elk, Shot with a 7mm Mag rifle. He was right again. Through the night, he proved his skills again and again, every time against a round of drinks. Finally he staggered home, drunk out of his mind,and went to sleep. The next morning he got up and saw in the mirror that he had one hell of a shiner. He said to his wife, "I know I was drunk last night, but not drunk enough to get in a fight and not remember it. Where did I get this blackeye?" His wife angrily replied, "I gave it to you. You got into bed and put your hand down my panties. Then you fiddled around a bit and loudly announced, "Skunk, killed with an axe."
Vote: has 84.43 % from 376 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, animal, game
Why wouldn't anyone play with the little longhorn? He was too much of a bully!
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal