What's a pet's favorite day?
Saint Petrick's Day.
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Q: Why didn't Republicans save any of the black New Orleans residents from the flooding of Hurricane Katrina?
A: They were busy trying to get two of each animal for their ark first and couldn't catch that damned roadrunner.
Vote:
A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog.
He asks the shopkeeper, "Does your dog bite?"
The shopkeeper says, "No, my dog does not bite."
The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him.
"Ouch!"
He says, "I thought you said your dog does not bite!"
The shopkeeper replies, "That is not my dog!"
I had to go round next door and look after my neighbour’s cat while he was away.
Now there’s a great pile of crap and a puddle of wee on his kitchen floor.
Hopefully, he’ll think the cat did it.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
A lion once put his head inside the mouth of Chuck Norris.
Vote:
What does a squid sheriff form?
An octoposse.
On the street strolls a chick dressed with fur from head to toes.
Near hear another chick stops and says to hear:
Do you imagine how many animals they had to kill for this coat?
But do you know with how many animals I had to sleep with for it?
The reason we are human is because Chuck roundhouse kicked a monkey into a higher species.
Vote:
A dog with three legs walks into a Wild West bar and says, ‘I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.’