What did the bee say to the flower? "Hi, honey."
Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead. Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
What kind of noise annoys an oyster? A noisy noise annoys an oyster. (Try saying that fast!)
How does a frog confuse you? When he comes out and says he needed that nap and feels much better.
Why was the horse all charged up? It ate some haywire!
A man bought a dachshund for his six children so they’d have a dog they could all pet at once.
Monahan stumbled into a saloon, half crocked. "Say," he said to the bartender, "how tall is a penguin?" "About two and a half feet." "Thank God!" cried Monahan. "I thought I ran over a nun!"
What is a Zebra? A Z-bra is 25 sizes bigger than an A-bra.
Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
Q. What did one frog say to another? A. You're such a WART!
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she went to KFC, she ordered the bucket of chicken on the roof.