Q: What do you call a naked deer?
A: Buck naked!
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What do you get when a cow goes to the Beach with tanning oil?
Pre-tanned leather.
Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of humor?
A: Laughing stock.
A man goes to the circus. After the show he speaks to the manager and asks for a job.
"Alright, what can you do?", the manager asks.
"I can do great bird impressions", the man replies.
"Pssh, a lot of people can do that".
"Oh well", the man says and flies away.
I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.
What would you get if you crossed a grizzly with the world's greatest basketball player?
Bear Jordan.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elkaseltzer.
How does a group of dolphin's make a decision?
Flipper coin.
A man buys a pet parrot and brings him home.
But the parrot starts insulting him and gets really nasty, so the man picks up the parrot and tosses him into the freezer to teach him a lesson.
He hears the bird squawking for a few minutes, but all of a sudden the parrot is quiet.
The man opens the freezer door, the parrot walks out, looks up at him and says, "I apologize for offending you, and I humbly ask your forgiveness."
The man says, "Well, thank you. I forgive you."
The parrot then says, "If you don't mind my asking, what did the chicken do?"