Joke #6426

The Total Gym uses Chuck Norris to stay in shape.
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has 62.19 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fitness, health

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Chuck Norris was once tested for steroids. The results came back positive. When confronted with this information, Chuck Norris chuckled and said, "Of course, what do you think they make steroids from?"
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What do you do for exercise? I lift weights. What do you do for cardio? I lift weights faster.
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When Chuck Norris finishes his workout, the gym takes a break.
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If you carefully examine your health insurance policy, you will see that there is no cover for "Chuck Norris related incidents".
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A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii. It's now called the Ironman Triathlon.
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One morning, while she was making breakfast, the local fitness freak walked up to his wife, pinched her on the bum and said, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle." This was a bit over the limit, but she controlled herself and replied with silence. Next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast. "You know love if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bras." That was too far over the limit. She rolled over and grabbed him by the penis. Maintaining a vice grip, she whispered in his ear, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the pool man, the gardener and your brother."
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Chuck Norris once caught AIDS... but then he let it go.
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Chuck Norris' pulse-rate is measured on the Richter Scale.
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Chuck Norris once caught a cold, then he killed it!
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