First Kangaroo: What do you call it when giraffes moving one way get mixed up with giraffes moving another way?
Second Kangaroo: A giraffic jam.
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Will I ever be able to race my horse again the owner asked the vet.
The vet replied, "You certainly will, and you ll probably beat her too!"
A man runs over a cat.
The cat’s address is on its collar so the man goes to apologise to the owner.
He knocks on the door and a little old lady answers.
The man says, ‘I’m so sorry.
I’ve just run over your cat.
Can I replace it?’
‘I don’t know,’ replies the old lady.
‘How are you at catching mice?’
A cowboy rode up to the saloon, dismounted from his horse, and dusted himself off.
He then walked around to the rear of his horse, lifted the tail and kissed it right on the rectum.
As the cowboy walked into the saloon, the shocked barkeeper asked, "Did you just kiss your horse's butt?"
The cowboy said, "Sure, I've got chapped lips."
The stunned barkeep asked if this was an old Indian cure.
The cowboy said, "Nope.
But, sure as s**t, it keeps me from licking my lips!"
Yo' Mama is so ugly, when I walked past your fence, she came out barking.
What famous painting do cows love to look at?
The Moona Lisa.
What does an octopus take on a camping trip?
Tentacles.
Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS?
A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
Why did the rabbits go on strike?
They wanted a better celery.
Q: How do you get ten fat cows in your basement?
A: Hold a tupperware party!