What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common?
Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth.
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Why did the dinosaur have so few friends?
Because Tyrannosaurus reeks!
A mouse chanced on a pool of whiskey that was the result of a raid by prohibition-enforcement agents.
The mouse had had no previous acquaintance with liquor, but now, being thirsty, it took a sip of the strange fluid, and then retired into its hole to think.
After some thought, it returned to the pool, and took a second sip of the whiskey.
It then withdrew again to its hole, and thought.
Presently, it issued and drew near the pool for the third time.
Now, it took a big drink. Nor did it retreat to its hole. Instead, it climbed on a soap box, stood on its hind legs, bristled its whiskers, and squeaked:
"Now, bring on your cat!"
What kind of cars do rabbits drive?
Hop rods.
You said this horse could jump as high as a ten foot fence and he can't jump at all.
Well neither can a fence!
Bob checked into his hotel room and immediately noticed a dead cockroach on the floor.
He called the front desk, asked for the manager and raised a fuss.
"Sir, please calm down," the manager replied.
"It's dead. It can't bother you now."
"The dead one doesn't bother me." Bob said.
"It's his pallbearers."
What do cows do when they re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
What do you call a person in china who doesn't eat dog?
A tourist.
Q: What's meaner than a pit bull with herpes?
A: The guy who gave it to him.
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How is a rabbit like a plum?
They re both purple, except for the rabbit.