What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common?
Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth.
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Curiosity didn't kill the cat.
Chuck Norris did.
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Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts.
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A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter.
Mother: "What does the cow say?"
Child: "Moo!"
Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?"
Child: "Meow."
Mother: "Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?"
And this wide-eyed little 3 year-old looked up at her mother and in her deepest voice replied, "Bud."
Where do cows like to ride on trains?
In the cow-boose.
A farmer and a son live on a farm.
The farmer is sitting in the kitchen when his son comes in from the barn with a large glass of white liquid.
He is so excited because he's just milked a cow.
Then he takes a big drink from the glass.
His father just stares at him.
"Son, we don't have a cow. We have a bull."
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Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'"
Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken."
Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?"
Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
How far can a rabbit run into the woods?
Halfway.
After that she's running out of the woods.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: It was escaping from K.F.C.
Why did President Clinton name his dog Buddy instead of Spot?
Because he didn't want people running around the White House saying, "come Spot, come Spot!"
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