What should a rabbit use to keep his fur neat? A harebrush.
Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it for ever. Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.
What do you get if you cross a skunk and a balloon? A creature that stinks to high heaven.
What are the spots on black-and-white cows? Holstaines.
What do you get if you cross a skunk and a cartoon penguin? Pingu-Pong.
A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, “When did you bag him?” The host said proudly, “That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my ex-wife.” “What’s he stuffed with,” asked the visiting hunter. “My ex-wife” replied the hunter.
A summer visitor asked the farmer how long cows should be milked. "Oh, I reckon about the same as short ones!" the farmer answered.
A snail walks into a bar and the barman tells him there's a strict policy about having snails in the bar and so kicks him out. A year later the same snail re-enters the bar and asks the barman "What did you do that for?"
Did you hear the joke about the skunk? Never mind, it stinks.
What do you call a dog wearing ear muffs? Anything you want, he cant hear you.
A farmer was bragging. "I've got 350 sheep." "That's a lot of sheep," said another farmer. "And I've got 500 chickens," bragged the farmer. "That's a lot of chickens," answered the second farmer. "And 40 bulls," added the farmer. The other farmer replied, "Boy! That IS a lot of bull."