Joke #10354

What should a rabbit use to keep his fur neat? A harebrush.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A honeymooning couple had purchased a talking parrot and taken it to their room, where much to the groom's annoyance, the bird kept up a running commentary on their love making. Finally the groom threw a large towel over the cage and threatened to give the parrot to the zoo if he didn't quit it. The next morning, packing to return home, the couple couldn't close a large suitcase. The groom said, "Darling, you get on top and I'll try." That didn't work. Figuring they needed more weight on the lid, she said, "Sweetheart, you get on top and I'll try." Still no success. So, he said, "Look. Let's both get on top." At that point the parrot pulled away the towel with his beak and said: "Zoo or no zoo. I just gotta see this."
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has 71.72 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal, parrot
What is a Zebra? A Z-bra is 25 sizes bigger than an A-bra.
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has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, women
A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?" The mother said, "Well, maybe that’s something you could ask the stewardess." So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?" The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. You can ask your mother to explain it to you."
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: airplane, animal, dog, kids, travel
During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general. "You simpleton!" the officer barked. "Don't you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?" "Yes sir," the solder answered apologetically. "But, if I may say so, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice. And I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lower branches. But when two squirrels ran up my pants leg and I heard the bigger say, "Let's eat one now and save the other until winter' - that did it!"
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has 72.21 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, life, military, winter
What kind of sharks make good carpenters? Hammerheads.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
A hippo once told me he hated gangs, but then he joined one What a HippoCrip.
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has 31.97 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.
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has 41.85 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal
What’s the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead black person in the road? There’s skid marks in front of the skunk.
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has 57.26 % from 215 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people, death
Did you hear about the new shark food restaurant called Jaws? It costs an arm and a leg to eat there.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
What does a cow ride when his car is broken? A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, car