Q: Why do hippos have to have sex in water? A: Ever try to keep two tons of pussy wet?
Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
Which day of the week do chickens hate most? Fry-day!
Yo' Mama is so ugly, when I walked past your fence, she came out barking.
What do you call rubber bumpers on yachts? Shark absorbers.
What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole? A Hot Cross bunny.
I feel like every nature documentary is directed by a psychopath. "Here's the cutest baby animal ever." "Now let's watch something eat it."
Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.
Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle? A. Wheeeee.
How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.
What did the naughty rabbit leave for Easter? Deviled eggs.