Joke #3372

Q: Why do hippos have to have sex in water? A: Ever try to keep two tons of pussy wet?
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has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal

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I thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 20 minutes before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a pigeon.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, life, music
On the street strolls a chick dressed with fur from head to toes. Near hear another chick stops and says to hear: Do you imagine how many animals they had to kill for this coat? But do you know with how many animals I had to sleep with for it?
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has 26.98 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal
At the pet shop, a man spots a parrot without any feet. The man leans in, "Hey buddy, how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?" "I wrap my little parrot penis around this wooden bar, kind of like a hook." "Wow," says the guy. "I can't believe you're so smart! I'm taking you home." Weeks go by, and the parrot not only understands everything the man says, but he gives good advice. The guy is delighted. One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot says, "Hey, I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the mailman." "What happened?" asks the guy. "Well," the parrot says, "when the mailman came to the door today, your wife greeted him in a sheer nightgown and kissed him on the mouth." "What happened then?" asks the guy. "Then, the mailman came into the house and lifted up your wife's nightgown," reports the parrot. "Oh no!" the guy says. "Then what?" "I don't know," says the parrot. "I got a hard-on and fell off my perch."
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has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, parrot, wife
What do you get if you cross a skunk and a balloon? A creature that stinks to high heaven.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, "You see that Indian?" "Yeah," says the other cowboy.  "Look," says the first one, "he's listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction."  Just then the Indian looks up. "Covered wagon," he says, "about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon." "Incredible!" says the cowboy to his friend. "This Indian knows how far away they are, how many horses, what colour they are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon. Amazing!"  The Indian looks up and says, "Ran over me about a half hour ago."
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has 81.30 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: animal, cowboy, life, men, women
What fur do we get from a tiger? As fur as possible!
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has 42.03 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What happens when you cross a pig with a Democrat? A: Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.
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has 72.05 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: animal, democrat
Johnny, George, and Bert were driving along in their pickup when they saw a sheep caught in the fence with its hind end up in the air. Bert said, "I wish that was Sharon Stone." George echoed, "I wish it was Demi Moore." Little Johnny sighed, "I wish it was dark..."
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has 54.49 % from 147 votes. More jokes about: animal, little Johnny
How do you confuse a frog? Put it in a round bowl and tell it to take a nap in the corner.
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has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal
Law of Cat Disinterest A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal