Why was the skunk angry?
He was incensed.
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A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
It is better to enter the mouth of a tiger than a court of law.
Q: What's a tiger running a copy machine called?
A: A copycat!
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance they looked like hares.
In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly confronted by a huge, mean bear.
In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were unsuccessful.
Finally, he turned and ran as fast as he could.
The hunter ran and ran and ran, until he ended up at the edge of a very steep cliff.
His hopes were dim.
Seeing no way out of his predicament, and with the bear closing in rather quickly, the hunter got down on his knees, opened his arms, and exclaimed, "Dear God! Please give this bear some religion!"
The skies darkened and there was lightning in the air.
Just a few feet short of the hunter, the bear came to an abrupt stop, and glanced around, somewhat confused.
Suddenly, the bear looked up into the sky and said, "Thank you, God, for the food I'm about to receive..."
Why did a gambler scare everyone out swimming?
He was a card shark.
Q: What did the bird say after his cage fell apart?
A: "Cheap, cheap!"
What do rabbits put in their computers?
Hoppy disks.
Why wouldn't anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully!