What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater?
Claws.
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What's black and white and green?
A frog sitting on a newspaper.
Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk.
Both are dragging their right foot as they walk.
As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, "Vietnam, 1969."
The other points his thumb behind him and says, "Dog crap, 20 feet back."
Unicorns are extinct but Chuck Norris used all their horns as toothpicks.
Vote:
Which big cat should you never play cards with?
A cheetah.
Q. What’s got 4 legs and bleeds?
A. Half a spider!
A beautiful princess comes upon a frog in a meadow near her castle.
The frog hops into the princess' lap and says, "My lady, one kiss from you, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I once was, and then, my sweet, we can marry and set-up housekeeping in yon castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever be happy doing so."
That night, as the princess dines on lightly sauteed frog legs, she chuckles to herself, "I don't f**kin' think so."
Yo Mamma so stupid she put on bug spray before she goes to the flee market!
Chuck Norris uses live piranhas as bath toys.
Vote:
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
a lickalotapus.