If you make a cow angry, how will she get even?
She'll cream you.
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Where do milk shakes come from?
Nervous cows.
When should you feel sorry for a skunk?
When its spray pump is out of order!.
Bob checked into his hotel room and immediately noticed a dead cockroach on the floor.
He called the front desk, asked for the manager and raised a fuss.
"Sir, please calm down," the manager replied.
"It's dead. It can't bother you now."
"The dead one doesn't bother me." Bob said.
"It's his pallbearers."
A lady is walking down the street to work and she sees a parrot in a pet store.
The parrot says to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
Well, the lady is furious!
And she storms past the store to her work.
On the way home she saw the same parrot in the window and the parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
Well, she was incredibly ticked now.
The next day see saw the same parrot and the parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird.
The store manager said, "That's not good." and promised he wouldn't say it again.
When the lady walked past the store after work the parrot said to her, "Hey lady."
She paused and said, "Yes?" and the bird said, "You know."
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case.
Q: What do you call a cow that's had an abortion?
A: De-calf-i-nated.
Q: What animal could Noah not trust?
A: Cheetah.
Someone figured out my password.
Now I have to rename my dog.
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What do you call an owl magician? HOOOOOdini.
Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead.
Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
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