Joke #10087

If you make a cow angry, how will she get even? She'll cream you.
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A guy walks into a bar with a dog under his arm, puts the dog on the bar and announces that the dog can talk and that he has $100 he's willing to bet anyone who says he can't. The bartender quickly takes the bet and the owner looks at the dog and asks, "What's the thing on top of this building which keeps the rain from coming inside?" The dog answers "ROOF." The bartender says, "Who are you kidding? I'm not paying." The dogs owner says, "How about double or nothing and I'll ask him something else". The bartender agrees and the owner turns to the dog and asks, "Who was the greatest ballplayer of all time". The dog answers with a muffled "RUTH." With that the bartender picks them both up and throws them out the door. As they bounce on the sidewalk the dog looks at his owner and says "DiMaggio?".
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, bartender, dog
Q: Why do cops arrest black people? A: Because monkeys belong in cages.
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has 20.97 % from 177 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people, cop, prison
Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of humor? A: Laughing stock.
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Why did the fat turkey cross the road? A: To get hit by my car.
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has 29.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, fat
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were having a conversation one fine Sunday evening. One remarked to the other, ‘I got a new hearing device and it works fine?' The second said, ‘oh yes, my grandchildren just love the gifts of my choice.' The third one who noticed the hearing device in the ear of the first one asked, what kind is it?' The one with the brand new hearing device answered ‘about 6 O'clock'. All three of them looked up in the birds in the sky and said, "Birds of the same feather ‘flock' together."
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has 14.74 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, kids, old people, time
Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, love, weather
A man enters a little country store and sees a sign reading, ‘Danger! Beware of Dog’. He then sees an old hound dog lying asleep on the floor. ‘Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?’ says the man to the shopkeeper. ‘Yep,’ replies the shopkeeper. ‘Before I posted that sign, everyone kept tripping over him.’
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
Yesterday I saw a man trying to chat up a cheetah. ‘Hello,’ I thought. ‘He’s trying to pull a fast one.’
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has 34.78 % from 6 votes. More jokes about: animal
When do rabbits have buck teeth? When their parents won't get them braces.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean? A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.
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has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde