What's the difference between a reindeer and a snowball?
They re both brown, except the snowball.
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A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog.
He watched the game in astonishment for a while.
“I can hardly believe my eyes!” he exclaimed. That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen.”
“Nah, he’s not so smart,” the friend replied. I’ve beaten him three games out of five."
Why was the racehorse named Bad News?
Because bad news travels fast!
An elephant goes to a camel and says why have you got a pair of tits on your back, the camel then replies that's a funny question coming from someone with a dick on their face.
What do you call a turtle with a hard on?
A slow poke.
YOUR MOMS HOUSE IS SO POOR I WENT TO KNOCK ON HER DOOR AND A ROACH TRIPPED ME AND A RAT TOOK MY WALET.
Q: What is the difference between a mouse and a dick?
A: No difference. Both are searching a hole.
Q: What animal rotates at least 200 times after it dies?
A: A rotisserie chicken.
“Mister, why doesn’t this cow have any horns?” asked the young lady from a nearby city.
The farmer cocked his head for a moment, then began in a patient tone, “Well, ma’am, cattle can do a powerful lot of damage with horns. Sometimes we keep’em trimmed down with a hacksaw. Other times we can fix up the young ‘uns by puttin’ a couple drops of acid where their horns would grow in, and that stops ‘em cold. Still, there are some breeds of cattle that never grow horns.But the reason this cow don’t have no horns, ma’am, is ’cause it’s a horse.”
Chuck Norris can mess with the bull without getting the horns.
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