How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed.
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What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns?
A bull pull.
Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
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Teacher: "In 1940, what were the Poles doing in Russia?"
Pupil: "Holding up the telegraph lines!"
Chuck Norris flew boats in the Vietnam War.
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What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.
Labradoodles were made when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a Labrador and a Poodle at the same time.
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Osama Bin Laden is hiding from Chuck Norris.
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Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.
The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said, "I think they could be bird tracks."
The second blonde went to look and said, "No, I think these are deer tracks."
They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks.
She looked down, then got run over by the train!
What would you get if you crossed a grizzly with the world's greatest basketball player?
Bear Jordan.