How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed.
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What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns?
A bull pull.
Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
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Q: Why do Swedish battleships have barcodes on them?
A: So that when they come into port, they can Scandinavian.
Yo mamas so fat that she fought a war with her own farts.
Q: Hey, what's the jew doing in the ashtray?
A: Family research.
Two Generals were preparing for battle.
The first General calls his aide and says "Bring me my red uniform!"
The other General asks why he would wear a red uniform.
The first General explains that if he gets wounded then his soldiers won't see the blood and lose their courage.
The other General thinks about this, then calls to his aide "Bring me my brown uniform!"
What do you call fish poop?
BassTurds!
Two snakes are talking.
One of them turns to the other and asks, "Are we venomous?"
The other replays, "Yes,why?..."
"I just bit ma lip."
Going to war without the French is like going hunting without your accordion.
