How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed.
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What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns?
A bull pull.
Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
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"Wow, look at that! Isn't it beautiful? Let's destroy it."
-People
There was this General-in-training, and his superiors were asking him questions
“What happened on June 6, 1944?”
“We stormed the beach at Normandy, which later became known as D-Day, sir!”
“What was the turning point of world war 2?”
“Battle of the bulge, sir!”
“What’s is the importance of May 12″ The Man thought and thought “I don’t know, sir!”
The superior then said “Well, I’ll tell your wife that you forgot her birthday.”
What's a moo hoo for a bunch of weirdo cattle?
A nerd herd.
Crocodiles are easy.
They try to kill and eat you.
People are harder.
Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first.
- Steve Irwin (1962 - 2006)
Vote:
Yo' Mama is like a donkey: everybody rides the ass.
Through the pitch-black night, the captain sees a light dead ahead on a collision course with his ship.
He sends a signal: "Change your course ten degrees east."
The light signals back: "Change yours, ten degres west."
Angry, the captain sends: "I'm a Navy captain! Change your course, sir!"
"I'm a seaman, second class," comes the reply. "Change your course, sir."
Now the captain is furious. "I'm a battleship! I'm not changing course!"
There's one last reply. "I'm a lighthouse. Your call."
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Going to war without the French is like going hunting without your accordion.