How does an octopus go to war? Well-armed.
Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns? A bull pull.
There was this General-in-training, and his superiors were asking him questions “What happened on June 6, 1944?” “We stormed the beach at Normandy, which later became known as D-Day, sir!” “What was the turning point of world war 2?” “Battle of the bulge, sir!” “What’s is the importance of May 12″ The Man thought and thought “I don’t know, sir!” The superior then said “Well, I’ll tell your wife that you forgot her birthday.”
What does a cow like to do by a campfire? Roast Moosmallows.
An ant and an elephant share a night of romance. The next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead. "Shit!" says the ant. "One night of passion and I will spend the rest of my life digging a grave!"
What do tigers wear in bed? Stripey pyjamas.
Q: How do you know Noah was a White man? A: No nigger could stay on a boat for 40 days without eating the chickens!
This old guy goes into a church in a small town in the hills of Italy and asks the priest to hear his confession. The priest listens and then asks, "Is there anything else?" The old guy says, "During the war, when I was young, a beautiful Germam girl came to my farm after escaping and asked me if I would hide her. I told her I would if she provided me with sexual favors." The priest replies, "Don't worry about it. It was wartime and you both were under a lot of pressure." The old guy says, "Does that mean that I have to tell her that the war is over?"
Before Chuck Norris can register as a soldier, all wars suddenly end.
What did one skunk say to another? And so do you.