Joke #9996

What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns? A bull pull.

How does an octopus go to war? Well-armed.

Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.

An elderly Canadian gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane. At the French customs desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag. "You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked, sarcastically. The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously. "Then you should know enough to have your passport ready." The Canadian said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it." "Impossible, Canadians always have to show your passports on arrival in France!" The Canadian senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look, then he quietly explained, "Well, when I came ashore at Juno Beach on D Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find any Frenchmen to show it to."

A man in Amsterdam feels the need to confess, so he goes to his priest. "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. During WWII, I hid a refugee in my attic." "Well," answers the priest, "that's not a sin."' "But I made him agree to pay me 20 guilders for every week he stayed." "I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause." "Oh, thank you, Father. That eases my mind. I have one more question." "What is that, my son?" "Do I have to tell him the war is over?"

Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.

When Chuck Norris played the card game War with a friend, France surrendered.

Just the thought of using Chuck Norris in a war is considered a terrible crime against humanity.

How do elephants hide in the jungle? Paint their balls red and pretend they are cherries! What's the loudest noise in the jungle? Monkeys eating cherries...

Chuck norris can eat chicken tonight tomorow.

Question: Why does Tigger smell? Answer: You'd smell too if you played with Pooh all day!