What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns?
A bull pull.
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How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed.
Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
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Chuck Norris won the Kentucky derby, on a Unicorn.
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The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead is because they finally let Chuck Norris into Pakistan...
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Chuck Norris can find Osama Bin Laden!
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Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia.
That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
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What's funner then nailing bin Laden to a tree?
Feeding his lifeless corpse into a meat grinder.
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A mouse chanced on a pool of whiskey that was the result of a raid by prohibition-enforcement agents.
The mouse had had no previous acquaintance with liquor, but now, being thirsty, it took a sip of the strange fluid, and then retired into its hole to think.
After some thought, it returned to the pool, and took a second sip of the whiskey.
It then withdrew again to its hole, and thought.
Presently, it issued and drew near the pool for the third time.
Now, it took a big drink. Nor did it retreat to its hole. Instead, it climbed on a soap box, stood on its hind legs, bristled its whiskers, and squeaked:
"Now, bring on your cat!"
Q: How does a redneck tell the difference between a bull and a cow in the dark?
A: He sticks his nose in the animal's ass. If there's a place for his tongue, it's a cow.
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