Joke #9996

What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns? A bull pull.
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has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, war

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How does an octopus go to war? Well-armed.
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, war
Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
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The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead is because they finally let Chuck Norris into Pakistan...
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An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the German front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and was on a train bound for London. The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a well-dressed middle-aged lady and was being used by her little dog. The war weary soldier asked, "Please, ma'am, may I sit in that seat?" The English woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and said, "You Americans. You are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my little Fifi is using that seat?" The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog. Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there? I'm very tired." The English woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, "You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant. Imagine!" The soldier didn't say anything else; he leaned over, picked up the little dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat. The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her and chastise the soldier. An English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up, "You know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the window."
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has 85.43 % from 2046 votes. More jokes about: car, dog, military, war, women
In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, war
Chuck Norris doesn't bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.
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has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, hunting
Q: Whats worse then finding half a worm in your apple? A: The Holocaust.
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, food
Yo mamas so fat that she fought a war with her own farts.
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has 41.89 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: fart, fat, war, Yo mama
A hunter goes into the woods to hunt a bear. He carries his trusty 22-gauge rifle with him. After a while, he spots a very large bear, takes aim, and fires. When the smoke clears, the bear is gone. A moment later, the bear taps the hunter on the shoulder and says, “No one shoots at me and gets away with it. You have two choices: I can rip your throat out and eat you, or you can drop your trousers, bend over, and I’ll [insert appropriate colloquialism for sodomy here].” The hunter decides that anything is better than death, so he drops his trousers and bends over; and the bear does what he said he would do. After the bear has left, the hunter pulls up his trousers and staggers back into town. He’s pretty mad. He buys a much larger gun and returns to the forest. He sees the same bear, aims, and fires. When the smoke clears, the bear is gone. A moment later the bear taps the hunter on the shoulder and says, “You know what to do.” Afterward, the hunter pulls up his trousers, crawls back into town, and buys a bazooka. Now he’s really mad. He returns to the forest, sees the bear, aims, and fires. The force of the bazooka blast knocks him flat on his back. When the smoke clears, the bear is standing over him and says, “You’re not doing this for the hunting, are you?”
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has 84.51 % from 625 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, hunting
How do you know when a crab is drunk? It walks forwards.
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, drunk