Joke #9996

What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns? A bull pull.
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has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, war

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How does an octopus go to war? Well-armed.
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Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
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Two men were walking along the street when they came upon a dog licking his dick. One man said, "I sure wish I could do that." The other replied, "You can, but you're probably going to have to pet him first."
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A man in Amsterdam feels the need to confess, so he goes to his priest. "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. During WWII, I hid a refugee in my attic." "Well," answers the priest, "that's not a sin."' "But I made him agree to pay me 20 guilders for every week he stayed." "I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause." "Oh, thank you, Father. That eases my mind. I have one more question." "What is that, my son?" "Do I have to tell him the war is over?"
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Q: Why do French tanks have rear-view mirrors? A: So they can see the battlefield.
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Curiosity didn't kill the cat. Chuck Norris did.
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Just the thought of using Chuck Norris in a war is considered a terrible crime against humanity.
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What's three meters high and jumps every ten seconds? A dinosaur with the hiccups.
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has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
One day Mullah was beating his donkey in a remote place. A man saw him and asked: why are you beating the poor animal. Sorry, said Mullah, is it a member of your family?
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, family
This guy walks into a bar with his golden retriever. "Hey, can I get a drink on the house if my dog talks for you?" "Dogs can't talk, pal. But if you can prove to me yours does, I'll give you a drink. If not, I get to punch you in the nose." "Okay," says the guy. He turns to his dog. "Okay fella. Tell me -- what is on top of your doghouse?" "Roof!" The man turns and smiles at the bartender. "THAT ain't talking! Any dog can bark!" "Okay boy. Tell me -- how does sandpaper feel?" "Ruff!" "What are you tryin' to pull, mister?" "Okay, okay," says the man. "One more question please. Okay buddy, tell me -- who is the greatest ball player who ever lived?" "Ruth." The bartender beats the heck out of the guy and throws him onto the sidewalk outside of the bar, then throws the dog out next to him. The dog stands up and looks at the guy. "Geez. D'ya think I shoulda said DiMaggio?"
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has 76.51 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, dog