What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns?
A bull pull.
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How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed.
Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
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You're riding a horse full speed, there's a giraffe beside you, and you're being chase by a lion.
What do you do?
Get your drunk ass off the carousel.
Chuck Norris beat a black hole in a tug of war.
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Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
What happens when sharks take their clothes off?
They go sharkers.
When Chuck Norris got stung by a bee, the Bee had an allergic reaction called Chuck Norris.
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Join the Army, meet some fascinating people, then kill them.
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Yo mamas so fat that she fought a war with her own farts.
This old guy goes into a church in a small town in the hills of Italy and asks the priest to hear his confession.
The priest listens and then asks, "Is there anything else?"
The old guy says, "During the war, when I was young, a beautiful Germam girl came to my farm after escaping and asked me if I would hide her. I told her I would if she provided me with sexual favors."
The priest replies, "Don't worry about it. It was wartime and you both were under a lot of pressure."
The old guy says, "Does that mean that I have to tell her that the war is over?"