Joke #10682

What do you call a neurotic octopus? A crazy, mixed-up squid.
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A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?" The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made.." Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.. The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved." The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?" The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his."
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Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? A: Finding half a worm."
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How do you lead a horse to water? With lots of carrots.
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What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig? (A teddy boar!)
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Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"
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What’s the difference between cats and dogs? Dogs have owners, cats have staff.
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Cats took many thousands of years to domesticate humans.
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Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks. The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said, "I think they could be bird tracks." The second blonde went to look and said, "No, I think these are deer tracks." They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!
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Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
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What magazine makes cows stampede to the newsstand? Cows-mopolitan!
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