Joke #10682

What do you call a neurotic octopus? A crazy, mixed-up squid.
Vote:
has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

There is a lady laying in bed. At about midnight her husband comes walking in with a sheep under his arm and says ”That’s the fat pig I’ve been sleeping with when I’m not sleeping with you.” His wife gets a confused look on her face and states ”but honey that’s not a pig its a sheep.” Her husband says ”Shut up pig I’m talking to the sheep!”
Vote:
has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, husband
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country. After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought, "Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!" She got out and walked over to the farmer and said, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?" The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try. The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157." The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car. Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said. "If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
Vote:
has 53.58 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, math
Q: Why did the bowlegged cowboy get fired? A: Because he couldn't keep his calves together!
Vote:
has 56.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, cowboy
Chuck Norris uses live piranhas as bath toys.
Vote:
has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
What do you call a poodle with no legs? A sponge.
Vote:
has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
A man and a woman were on a nude beach when a wasp flew into the woman's vagina. In a rush the guy pulled on his shorts, wrapped a towel around the woman, and ran to the hospital. When they got there the doctor said, "The only way I can think to get the wasp out is to slather some honey on my penis and lure it out." The doctor then offered his services for a mere $50. After a long pause, the couple agreed. The doctor happily slathered on some honey and went in. After a couple of thrusts the husband said, "Hey, what the hell is going on?" The doctor says, "Change of plans I'm going to drown the bastard."
Vote:
has 56.09 % from 209 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, doctor, marriage, sex
A duck walks into a pet store and asked the owner if he sold “duck-food” here. The owner said; “no, I don’t sell duck food here”. The next day the duck went back to the same pet store, and asked the owner again if he sold “duck-food” here. The owner became very angry and said; “if you ask me for “duck-food” one more time, I am going to nail your web feet to the floor!” The duck came back on the third day and asked the owner of the pet store; “do you sell any hammer and nails here?” The owner answered; “no, I don’t sell any hammer and nails here”. The duck then asked; “do you sell any “duck-food” here”?
Vote:
has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris is the reason why This Little Piggy cried wee wee wee all the way home.
Vote:
has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
What do cows do for entertainment? They go to the mooooovies.
Vote:
has 59.74 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal
I had to get rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.
Vote:
has 79.34 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal, husband