Joke #10682

What do you call a neurotic octopus? A crazy, mixed-up squid.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings." The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer. The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings." The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings." The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer. The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs." The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs." Te bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate."
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has 51.81 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, bartender, beer
“Mister, why doesn’t this cow have any horns?” asked the young lady from a nearby city. The farmer cocked his head for a moment, then began in a patient tone, “Well, ma’am, cattle can do a powerful lot of damage with horns. Sometimes we keep’em trimmed down with a hacksaw. Other times we can fix up the young ‘uns by puttin’ a couple drops of acid where their horns would grow in, and that stops ‘em cold. Still, there are some breeds of cattle that never grow horns.But the reason this cow don’t have no horns, ma’am, is ’cause it’s a horse.”
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has 81.39 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: animal
What is the difference between a man and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.
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has 22.70 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish, men
Q: What do you call a fight between you and your dad? A: Dady issues!
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has 36.23 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, dad
A kangaroo mom with seven babies in her pouch told another kangaroo mom, "These sleepovers are killing me."
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
The male worm towards the female worm: Baby, if you don’t take me as you’re husband, I’m throwing myself to the chickens!
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, husband
A man was very proud of his guard dog, he would leave it to roam free in the garden to sow the world his house was guarded. One day a woman knocked at his door. “Is that your big dog outside?” Wondering how she had got past him he said: “Yes why?” She said "I’m sorry but my dog just killed him!” “What?” Roared the man “What kind of dog have you got?” “A Peke” Replied the woman. “A Peke? How could that little thing kill my big fine guard dog?” “I think it got stuck in his throat!” replied the woman.
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has 81.11 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, dog, women
How many skunks do you need to make a house really smelly? Just a phew.
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has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, fart
Name an animal that lives in Lapland? A reindeer Good, now name another. Another reindeer!
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has 14.67 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
What job do rabbits at hotels have? Bellhop.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal