Joke #10682

What do you call a neurotic octopus? A crazy, mixed-up squid.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal

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There was this biologist who was doing some experiments with frogs. He was measuring just how far frogs could jump. So he puts a frog on a line and says "Jump frog, jump!" The frog jumps 2 feet. He writes in his lab book: "Frog with 4 legs – jumps 2 feet." Next he chops off one of the legs and repeats the experiment. "Jump frog jump!" he says. The frog manages to jump 1.5 feet. So he writes in his lab book: "Frog with 3 legs – jumps 1.5 feet." He chops off another and the frog only jumps 1 foot. He writes in his book: "Frog with 2 legs jumps 1 foot." He continues and removes yet another leg. "Jump frog jump!" and the frog somehow jumps a half of a foot. So he writes in his lab book again: "Frog with one leg – jumps 0.5 feet." Finally he chops off the last leg. He puts the frog on the line and teels it to jump. "Jump frog, jump!" The frog doesn’t move. "Jump frog, jump!" Again the frog stays on the line. "Come on frog, jump!" But to no avail. The biologist finally writes in his book: "Frog with no legs – goes deaf."
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, science
How do you know when a crab is drunk? It walks forwards.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, drunk
A man and a woman are lying in bed, watching the ceiling and keep quiet. What are they thinking? The woman thinks, "He keeps quiet. He doesn’t want to talk. May be he’s get tired of me. He doesn’t love me anymore. He’s probably got someone else. I see. We’ll have to separate each other." The man thinks, "A fly. A fly on the ceiling. Wow! How keep it there and don’t fall?"
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has 65.00 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: animal, love, men, women
Two little squirrels were walking along in the forest. The first one spied a nut and cried out, "Oh, look! A nut!" The second squirrel jumped on it and said, "It's my nut!" The first squirrel said, "That's not fair! I saw it first!" "Well, you may have seen it, but I have it," argued the second. At that point, a lawyer squirrel came up and said, "You shouldn't quarrel.Let me resolve this dispute." The two squirrels nodded, and the lawyer squirrel said, "Now, give me the nut." He broke the nut in half, and handed half to each squirrel, saying, "See? It was foolish of you to fight. Now the dispute is resolved." Then he reached over and said, "And for my fee, I'll take the meat."
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has 57.92 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, lawyer
What must a policeman have before searching a rabbits home? A search warren.
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has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop
Q: What's the difference between a dog and a fox? A: About eight beers.
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has 37.27 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, beer
What do cows do when they re introduced? They give each other a milk shake.
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do you call a bear with no teeth? (A gummy bear!)
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Why do women have 2% more brains then a cow? A: So, when you pull their tits they won't shit on the floor.
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has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, women
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air? A seahorse.
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has 41.84 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal