Joke #10682

What do you call a neurotic octopus? A crazy, mixed-up squid.
Vote:
has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A prisoner at the Edmonton Max started training a large fly to do tricks. For years, for thousands of hours, he worked with the insect. It learned to walk across a miniature high wire, ride a tiny one-wheel bike, balance on a pair of stilts and sing songs from Phantom of the opera. "When you and I get out of here," the jailbird said to the fly "we’re going to tour the nightspots and make a fortune." Finally the day arrived. Fly safely tucked away in his pocket, (inside its matchbox home), the ex-con made his way to a bar to celebrate. At the bar, he brought out his trick fly. On cue, it started moonwalking. "What about this fly, eh?" he said to the bartender. In one swift motion, the bartender reached for his copy of the newspaper The edmonton sun, rolled it up and squished the fly with a mighty swipe. "Glad you saw it," muttered the bartender. "Blasted things are everywhere."
Vote:
has 53.62 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, music, prison, work
A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words." The guy replies, "Hey, why not?" He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly: "Paint…my…house."
Vote:
has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
What’s the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead black person in the road? There’s skid marks in front of the skunk.
Vote:
has 52.82 % from 250 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people, death
What do you get if you cross a cat with a gorilla? An animal that puts you out at night.
Vote:
has 19.47 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal
When is a lion not a lion? When he turns into his cage.
Vote:
has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal
A father notices his young son staring at something on the ground. The father approaches his son and asks what he's looking at. The boy says that he sees two daddy long legs on top of each other, and asks what they're doing. They father replies that the two spiders are having sex. It's a completely natural thing that a mommy and daddy do when they love each other. The son then asks if one is a daddy long leg and the other is a mommy long leg. The father says that they're both daddy long legs. The son stomps on them, killing them. The father asks why he did that. The boy replies "I don't want any of that faggot-ass shit in my yard."
Vote:
has 51.55 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: animal, family, sex, vulgar
You would think that taking off a snail's shell would make it move faster, but it actually just makes it more sluggish.
Vote:
has 54.31 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, travel
The Teacher asked Little Johnny, "How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?" Little Johnny replied, "Just Don't bite any."
Vote:
has 76.23 % from 322 votes. More jokes about: animal, health, little Johnny, teacher
A fish walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "What would you like?" the fish says holding his neck, "Water".
Vote:
has 56.92 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, fish
Q: What do you say to a bodybuilding cow farmer? A: Show us your calves!
Vote:
has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, fitness