What is the definition of "moon"?
The past tense of "moo"!
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A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger.
"How about nuclear power?"
"OK," said Little Johnny.
"That could be an interesting topic.But let me ask you a question first."
"A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass.
The same stuff.
Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass.
Why do you suppose that is?"
"Jeez," said the stranger.
"I have no idea."
"Well, then," said Little Johnny, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"
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A mailman meets a boy and a huge dog.
‘Does your dog bite?’ asks the mailman.
‘No,’ replies the boy.
And the dog bites the mailman’s leg.
‘You said he doesn’t bite!’ yells the mailman.
‘That’s not my dog,’ replies the boy.
What did the frog say to the fly?
You are really starting to bug me!
Q: What do you call a cow that's had an abortion?
A: De-calf-i-nated.
What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day?
After a week he was spotless.
If Chuck Norris were a cat he would have ten lives.
Vote:
"Waiter, what is this hare doing in my salad?"
"I believe he's eating your lettuce."
Why God did made the snake before lawyers?
To exercise.
What do you call a dinosaur that destroys everything in its path?
Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.