Q. What do frogs do with paper? A. Rip-it!
The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist. The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming. The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
What's a moo hoo for the sound you hear when a cow spits? A cud thud.
What do cows like to do at amoosement parks? Ride on the roller cowster.
A guy walks into a bar with an alligator. It's about 10 feet long. The bartender flips out and says, "Hey buddy, you gotta get that son of a b*tch outta here. It's going to bite one of my customers and I'm going to get sued." The guy says, "No no no, it's a tame alligator. I'll prove it to you." He picks up the alligator and puts it on the bar. Then he unzips his pants, pulls out his package and sticks it in the alligator's mouth. The alligator just keeps his mouth open. After about 5 minutes, he pulls it out of the alligator's mouth and zips up his pants and says, "See, I told you it was a tame alligator. Anybody else want to try it?" The drunk down at the end of the bar says, "Yah, I'd like to try it but I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long!"
Q: What is height of De-hydration? A: A cow giving milk powder.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an elephant? An elephant who never forgets to eat his carrots.
Yo' Mama is so poor, when she goes to the park, the pigeons throw her bread.
Q: Why can't black kids play in the the sandbox? A: Because the cats keep covering them up.
What does a frog say when it sees something' great? Toadly awesome!
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a tadpole and turned it into a frog, then he kicked it again and it died.