Q. What do frogs do with paper?
A. Rip-it!
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A young man named Joe bought a horse from a farmer for £250.
The farmer agreed to deliver the horse within the next few days.
A couple of days later, the farmer drove up to Joe's house and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died."
Joe replied, "Well, then just give me my money back."
The farmer said, "Can't do that. I've spent it already."
Joe said, "Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse."
The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with it?"
Joe said, "I'm going to raffle him off."
The farmer said, "You can't flog a dead horse!"
Joe said, "Sure I can, Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."
A month Later, the farmer met up with Joe and asked, "What happened with that dead horse?"
Joe said, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at £5 a piece and made a profit of £2495."
The farmer said, "Didn't anyone complain?"
Joe said, "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his £5 back."
In what state will you find the most cows?
Moo York.
A father notices his young son staring at something on the ground.
The father approaches his son and asks what he's looking at.
The boy says that he sees two daddy long legs on top of each other, and asks what they're doing.
They father replies that the two spiders are having sex.
It's a completely natural thing that a mommy and daddy do when they love each other.
The son then asks if one is a daddy long leg and the other is a mommy long leg.
The father says that they're both daddy long legs.
The son stomps on them, killing them.
The father asks why he did that.
The boy replies "I don't want any of that faggot-ass shit in my yard."
Why is it difficult to identify horses from the back?
They re always switching their tails.
What's a rabbits favourite car?
Any make, just as long it's a hutchback.
A mean horseman went into a saddler's shop and asked for one spur.
"One spur?" asked the saddler.
"Surely you mean a pair of spurs, sir?"
"No, just one," replied the horseman.
"If I can get one side of the horse to go, the other side is bound to come with it!"
What is a frogs favorite time?
Leap Year!
Why don't cows ever have any money?
Because the farmers milk them dry.
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
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