What does an octopus take on a camping trip?
Tentacles.
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Chuck Norris can mess with the bull without getting the horns.
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How did the calf's final exam turn out?
Grade A.
Q: Why are lawyers never attacked by sharks?
A: Professional courtesy.
Q: What is a thespian pony?
A: A little horse play
Why don't cows ever have any money?
Because the farmers milk them dry.
What is a cow's favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
A skunk and a rabbit were running through the woods and accidentally they collided with each other. They both got amnesia from the crash.
"Who am I? What am I?" said the rabbit confused.
"Well, you're one such... with a short tail, long ears..."
"I guess!" shouted the rabbit, "I'm a rabbit!"
"And what am I?" asked the skunk.
"Ah! Yes. You're one such hairy, smelly, with a strip in the middle..."
"Wow!", yelled the skunk, "Probably I'm an ass!"
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
Three sons left home to make their fortunes, and they all did very, very well for themselves.
They got together recently and were discussing what they each had done to benefit their aging mother.
"Well," said the first one, "I bought Mom a huge house in Beverly Hills."
"I bought her a Mercedes and hired a full-time driver for her."
"I've got you both beat," said the third. "I bought her a miraculous parrot that can recite any Bible verse you tell it to."
A little later, the mother sent out a thank you letter to all three sons.
"Gerald - the house you bought was too big.
I only live in one room, but I have to clean the entire house.
Milton - the car is useless because I don't go anywhere because I'm too old.
But Robert - you know exactly what I like.
The chicken was delicious."