What does an octopus take on a camping trip? Tentacles.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, faces like yours belong in a zoo. Don't worry I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you.
Q: What do you call a snake who works for the government? A: A civil serpent.
What is slimy and wobbly, tastes of raspberry and lives in the seas? A red jellyfish.
A man takes his wife to the stock show. They start heading down the alley that had the bulls. They come up to the first bull and his sign stated: “This bull mated 50 times last year.” The wife turns to her husband and says, “He mated 50 times in a year, you could learn from him.” They proceed to the next bull and his sign stated: “This bull mated 65 times last year.” The wife turns to her husband and says, “This one mated 65 times last year. That is over 5 times a month. You can learn from this one, also.” They proceeded to the last bull and his sign said: “This bull mated 365 times last year.” The wife’s mouth drops open and says, “WOW! He mated 365 times last year. That is ONCE A DAY! You could really learn from this one.” The man turns to his wife and says, “Go up and see if it was 365 times with the same cow.”
Q: What did the cow say to the other cow? A: Moo.
One day a teacher asked the class, "What is the difference between a bird and a fly?" A student then replied, "A bird can fly but a fly cannot bird."
Q: What is a crowbar? A: A place were crows go to get a drink!
How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling? She’s got that down-in-the-mouth look.
A nude guy was sunbathing at the beach, a little girl comes to him, he covers his private parts with a newspaper. The little girl asks, "hats under there?" So the man answers , "A bird..." The girl goes away & the man falls asleep. When he wakes up, he finds himself in a hospital & in alot of pain. A doctor comes up to his bed & asks, 'What happened?' The man answers, "I don't know. I was at the beach & fell asleep after talking to a little girl." So the doctor tells this to the Police, and they go to the beach to find any witnesses. When they got there, they see the little girl the man was talking about. So they ask her if she did anything to the man...? She answers, "I din't do anything to the man, but he was sleeping, I played with his bird, After a while, it spat at me, so i broke its neck, burnt its nest, and smashed all its eggs!"