What does an octopus take on a camping trip?
Tentacles.
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Why did the frog cross the road?
To see what the chicken was doing.
Q: Why did the woman get thrown out of the riding stable?
A: She wanted to mount the horse her way.
Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey.
The country there now is only an impostor.
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Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case.
"Waiter, what is this hare doing in my salad?"
"I believe he's eating your lettuce."
This guy from up north just up and one day moved down south to start himself a farm.
He came across this man and asked him where he could get a good donkey to pull a cart and plow.
The man said I've got just what you need.
Only thing is down here we don't call them donkeys we call them an ass.
He said when this ass stops you'll have to get off the cart and slap them to get it going again.
The northern man thanks him and heads on his way.
He comes up to a man seeking chickens.
He says to the man, I'd like to buy a rooster and a hen.
The guy sai d sure thing but down here we don't call em roosters and hens.
We call them a cock and a pullet.
The man from up north says ok, thanks the man and is on his way.
He going along in his cart when his donkey stops in the middle of the road.
He remembers what the man said he had to do to get it going.
Just then a lady is walking by.
So he walks up to her and says, "excuse me miss, but will you hold my cock and pullet while I slap my ass."
Vote:
What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.
Pet Owner: "Every time a bell rings, my dog goes and sits in the corner."
Vet: "That's perfectly normal; he's a boxer."