How does a group of dolphin's make a decision? Flipper coin.
A lion once put his head inside the mouth of Chuck Norris.
Rabbit: "I got kicked out of my cage for not paying the rent. My wife walked out and took our twenty-nine bunnies with her. I m all out of carrots. What should I do?" Friend: "Don't worry; be hoppy!"
A young couple is out for a romantic Valentine's Day walk along a country lane. They walk hand in hand and as they stroll, the lad's lustful desire rises to a peak. He is just about to get frisky when she says, "I hope you don't mind, but I really do need to take a piss." Slightly taken aback by this vulgarity, he suggests she go behind a nearby hedge. She nods in agreement and disappears behind the shrubbery. As he waits, he can hear the sound of her tight panties rolling down her long legs and imagines what is being exposed. Unable to contain his animal thoughts a moment longer, he reaches through a gap in the foliage, and his hand touches her leg. He quickly brings his hand further up her thigh until suddenly, and with great astonishment, he finds himself gripping a long, thick appendage that's hanging between her legs. He shouts in horror, "My God, Claudette, I had no idea you were actually a man!" "No, you don't understand!" she replies. "I changed my mind, I'm taking a crap instead."
It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
A stallion and a mare where due to get married, but the stallion didn't show up at the church. He got colt feet.
What happened when the lion ate the comedian? He felt funny.
You said this horse could jump as high as a ten foot fence and he can't jump at all. Well neither can a fence!
I once had a goldfish that could break-dance on a carpet, but only for like 20 seconds.
According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
What has antlers, pulls Father Christmas sleigh and is made of cement? I don't know. A reindeer. What about the cement? I just threw that in to make it hard.