How do you get a hundred cows in a barn?
You hang up a bingo sign!
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What animal do you look like when you get into the bath?
A little bear.
Why do polo bears like bald men?
Because they have a great, white, bear place.
Two little squirrels were walking along in the forest.
The first one spied a nut and cried out, "Oh, look! A nut!"
The second squirrel jumped on it and said, "It's my nut!"
The first squirrel said, "That's not fair! I saw it first!"
"Well, you may have seen it, but I have it," argued the second.
At that point, a lawyer squirrel came up and said, "You shouldn't quarrel.Let me resolve this dispute."
The two squirrels nodded, and the lawyer squirrel said, "Now, give me the nut."
He broke the nut in half, and handed half to each squirrel, saying, "See? It was foolish of you to fight. Now the dispute is resolved."
Then he reached over and said, "And for my fee, I'll take the meat."
What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny?
He keeps coming and coming and coming...
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What has 2 grey legs and 2 brown legs?
An elephant with diarrhea.
Yo mama so ugly that when she delivered a little baby after birth the baby saw mum and screamed "It's a gorilla!".
Are you a shark?
Cause I've got some swimmers for you to swallow.
What is the best advice to give a worm?
Sleep late.
Giraffes were invented when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a horse.
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