How do you get a hundred cows in a barn?
You hang up a bingo sign!
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Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts.
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Q: Why does a dog lick himself?
A: He can't make a fist.
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How are skunks able to avoid danger?
By using their instinks and common scents.
What's a rabbits favourite car?
Any make, just as long it's a hutchback.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They go to the mooooovies.
A woman and her friend are visiting the zoo.
They are standing in front of the big silver back gorillas cage when one woman makes a gesture that the gorilla interprets as an invitation. He grabs her, yanks her over the fence, and takes her to his nest in the pen.
There he ravishes her and makes passionate love to her for about 2 hours till he is tranquilized, and the lady taken to hospital.
Her friend, deeply concerned, visits her the next day.
“Are you hurt?” she asks.
She replies, “Of course I’m hurt! He hasn’t called! He hasn’t written!”
What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common?
They both like a tight seal.
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
Unicorns are extinct but Chuck Norris used all their horns as toothpicks.
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