What does a squid sheriff form? An octoposse.
Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.
Q: What side of the cow gives the most milk? A: The utter side.
A gorilla was walking through the jungle when he came across a deer eating grass in a clearing. The gorilla roared, "Who is the king of the jungle?" and the deer replied, "Oh, you are, Master." The gorilla walked off pleased. Soon he came across a zebra drinking at a water hole. The gorilla roared, "Who is the king of the jungle?" The zebra replied, "Oh, you are, Master." The gorilla walked off pleased. Then he came across an elephant. "Who is the king of the jungle?" he roared. With that, the elephant threw the gorilla across a tree and jumped on him. The gorilla scraped himself up off the ground and said, "Okay, okay, there’s no need to get mad just because you don’t know the answer."
Q. What's green and red? A. A very mad frog.
How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling? She’s got that down-in-the-mouth look.
Why did the frog cross the road? Some mean little kid super-glued it to the chicken.
Why are dolphins cleverer than humans? Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish.
Usain Bolt is so fast I saw a Cheetah giving him a High 5.
When does a female deer need money? When she doesnt have a buck.
Q: Whats worse then finding half a worm in your apple? A: The Holocaust.