What does a squid sheriff form?
An octoposse.
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Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors?
Because, if it had 4 doors it would be chicken sedan.
A man limps into a bar with a cane and alligator.
The bartender stops him and says "Hold on a second here - you can't bring that animal in here, they aren't allowed!"
So the man says, "But my gator here does a really cool trick..."
The bartender says "Well then, lets see!"
So the man whips out his dick and shoves it in the gators mouth.
He then takes his cane and starts bashing the gator in the head with it.
A crowd gathers around and everyone is astonished when he pulls out his dick without a single scratch.
He looks around at the crowd and says, "Does anyone else want to try?"
An old lady raises her hand and says..."Sure, but don't hit me with that stick."
What do you call a group of cattle sent into orbit?
The first herd shot round the world.
Q: Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet?
A: They never want to log off.
Teacher: Students, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
Class: "Brotherly love."
What do cows get when they are sick?
Hay Fever.
What job do rabbits at hotels have?
Bellhop.
One day a traveling salesman was driving down a back country road at about 30 mph when he noticed that there was a three-legged chicken running alongside his car.
He stepped on the gas but at 50 miles per hour.
The chicken was still keeping up.
After about a mile of running the chicken ran up a farm lane and into a barn behind an old farm house.
The salesman had some time to kill so he turned around and drove up the farm lane.
He knocked at the door and when the farmer answered he told him what he had just seen.
The farmer said that he was a geneticist and had developed this breed of chicken because he, his wife and his son each like a drumstick when they have chicken and this way they only have to kill one chicken.
"That"s the most fantastic thing I've ever heard," said the salesman.
"How do they taste?"
"I don't know," said the farmer.
"We've never caught one."
Who held the baby octopus to ransom?
Squidnappers.
The reason we are human is because Chuck roundhouse kicked a monkey into a higher species.
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