What does a squid sheriff form?
An octoposse.
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A man and his little boy were walking through the park when a honeybee landed near them.
The boy ran over and stomped on it. The father gave him a lecture about having respect for living things and added, "Just for that you can’t have any honey for two weeks!"
Pretty soon a butterfly landed near them.
The boy ran over and stomped on it.
Again, the father gave him a lecture and added, "Just for that you can’t have any butter for two weeks!"
When they got home, they went into the kitchen, and a cockroach ran across the floor.
The mother ran over and stomped on it.
The boy said to his father, "Well do you want to tell her, or shall I?"
How come sharks don’t attack lawyers?
From professional courtesy.
Why did the cow jump over the moon?
To get to the Milky Way!
Q: What do you call a chilly dog sitting on bunny?
A: A Cold dog on a bun.
"Pa's being chased by a bull!"
"Well, what in tarnation do you want me to do about it?"
"Get me some film for my camera."
What do you call an operation on a rabbit?
A hare-cut.
Q: Why doesn't Tigger have any friends?
A: He plays with Pooh.
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If they made a movie starring the Loch Ness monster and the great white shark from Jaws, what would the movie be called?
Loch Jaws.
How can you tell when a skunk is angry?
It raises a stink.