Two neighbors are talking to each other.
First neighbor: Do you know that my dog is so smart, he waits for the newspaper to drop at the doorstep and then delivers it to me?
Second neighbor: Of course, I know that very well.
First neighbor: Really, well then, how?
Second neighbor: My dog came and told me.
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Q: What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A: After a year the dog is still happy to see you.
What do you get if you cross a cow with a tension headache?
A bad mood.
Q: What is a turkey's favorite dessert?
A: Peach gobbler.
Vote:
Q: Did you hear the Energizer Bunny Was Arrested?
A: Charged With Battery.
Why couldn't the skunk use her phone?
It was out of odor!
A Koala and a Prostitiute had just finished having sex, so the Prostitute said, "
All right, now give me my money!"
The Koala replied, "
Money, what for?" "
What for?", the Prostitute growled,
"Look up Prostitute in the dictionary and read what it says."
So the Koala looked up prostitute in the dictionary.
It said, "Prostitute- A woman who is paid to have sex."
" Okay," said the Koala, " now you look up Koala in the dictionary, and read what it says."
So the Prostitute looked up Koala in the dictionary.
It said, "Koala- A furry animal who eats bush, then leaves."
Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.
That bull you sold me is a lazy good-for-nothing.
I told you he was a bum steer.
I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.