How do you shoot a great white shark?
Hold his nose until he turns blue and then you shoot him with a blue shark spear gun.
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Q: What did the seal say when found nuts in the sea?
A: "Look I found deep nuts."
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"Why cant you play cards in the jungle?"
"Because theres to many cheetahs."
Did you find my horse well behaved?
Indeed, whenever we came to a fence he let me over first!
When is a farmer like a magician?
When he turns his cow into pasture.
While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat.
He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft.
Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,"Are there any gators around here?!"
"Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!"
"Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore.
About halfway there he asked the guy,"How'd you get rid of the gators?"
"We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said.
"The sharks got 'em."
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
What is a dolphin's favorite TV show?
Whale of fortune.
A Koala and a Prostitiute had just finished having sex, so the Prostitute said, "
All right, now give me my money!"
The Koala replied, "
Money, what for?" "
What for?", the Prostitute growled,
"Look up Prostitute in the dictionary and read what it says."
So the Koala looked up prostitute in the dictionary.
It said, "Prostitute- A woman who is paid to have sex."
" Okay," said the Koala, " now you look up Koala in the dictionary, and read what it says."
So the Prostitute looked up Koala in the dictionary.
It said, "Koala- A furry animal who eats bush, then leaves."
Whats the difference in a seagull and a babys diaper?
A seagull flits across the shore and a baby shits across the floor.