Joke #10706

How do you shoot a great white shark? Hold his nose until he turns blue and then you shoot him with a blue shark spear gun.
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You know Chuck Norris' pet lizard, right? Last I heard, he was in the movie "Godzilla". Oh, and his pet turtle starred in "Gamera" as well.
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What band is a cow favorite? Moody Blues.
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When is a farmer like a magician? When he turns his cow into pasture.
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Chuck Norris Killed Medusa with a round house Kick.
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How do you start a teddy bear race? Ready, teddy, go.
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The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and one lands in each of the pints. The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another pint. The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow. The Irishman reaches in to the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers and shakes him while yelling, "Spit it out, ya bastard! Spit it out!"
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There was once a puppy called May who loved to pick quarrels with animals who were bigger than she was. One day she argued with a lion. The next day was the first of June. Why? Because that was the end of May!
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The snake was punished because Chuck Norris tempted it to ate the apple.
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Q. Why did Mrs. Smokey the Bear divorce Smokey the Bear? A. Because every time she got hot, he d beat her with a shovel!
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