Yo mama so ugly that when she delivered a little baby after birth the baby saw mum and screamed "It's a gorilla!".
Why doesn't Sweden export it's cattle? It wants to keep it's Stockholm!
Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
Yo mama is so hairy, Kingkong got jealous.
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country. After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought, "Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!" She got out and walked over to the farmer and said, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?" The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try. The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157." The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car. Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said. "If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It was the chicken's day off.
How do snails get their shells all shiny? They use snail polish.
Why was the young kangaroo thrown out by his mother? For smoking in bed.
Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.