Q: Why is the old, worn out horse named Flattery?
A: Because it gets you nowhere.
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Why was Teddy Roosevelt mean to horses?
He was a rough rider!
What did the male squirrel say when the female attacked him...
Get away from my nuts.
One day at the Ricki Lake Show, the topic was ghosts.
Before the show, she asks the audience: "Who here has ever sensed the presence of a ghost?" and 5 people raise their hand.
Then she asks "Who here has ever seen a ghost?" and 3 people raise their hand.
Then she asks "Okay, now who here has ever had sex with a ghost?" and 1 person, an old man raises his hand.
So she goes up to this old man and says "what was it like?" and he said "Oh…it was great! Never had any like it before!"
and she asked "Really? So the ghost was good?"
and the old man said "Ghost? I thought you said goat!"
What is a Zebra?
A Z-bra is 25 sizes bigger than an A-bra.
Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: "I really don't get how he can feed himself with that thing!"
Q: What do the mosquito parents say to their small children, when they see people lying on the sandy beach during a hot summer day more than 15 minutes?
A: "Kids, prepare the cutlery and your chin-straps.
Our lunch is already heated up and ready for the consumption!"
What did the judge say when the skunk was on trial?
Odour in court.
Chuck Norris doesn't scroll with a mouse.
He uses a lion.
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What do you call an ugly rabbit that sits on someone's forehead?
Unsightly facial hare.