Q: Why is the old, worn out horse named Flattery?
A: Because it gets you nowhere.
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Why did the duck get arrested?
because he was selling quack.
Q: How does a redneck tell the difference between a bull and a cow in the dark?
A: He sticks his nose in the animal's ass. If there's a place for his tongue, it's a cow.
Vote:
If Chuck Norris were a cat he would have ten lives.
Vote:
Q:Why don't giraffes like fast food?
A:Because they can't catch it!
A fellow always wanted to own a pet skunk, so in the dead of winter, he took his girlfriend with him to go hunting for one.
After a bit of waiting, they bagged a skunk and brought him back to the truck.
The skunk was very scared and very cold, so the guy asks his girlfriend if she can keep the skunk between her legs to keep him warm.
"But what about the smell?" asks his girlfriend.
"Oh, he'll get used to it, just like I did."
Vote:
Did you hear about the cannibal spider that ate his uncle's wife?
He was an aunteater.
The judge:
Why did you shoot the rabbit without being a member of the hunters association?
The inculpated:
Why did the rabbit eat cabbage from my garden, without being a family member?
What must a policeman have before searching a rabbits home?
A search warren.
Q. What did the frog say to the fly?
A. You are really starting to bug me!