What happened to the lizard in the wizard's garden pond?
He had him newt-ered.
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What do you get when you cross a rabbit with strawberry soda?
A berry bubbly bunny.
Why do police dogs lick their balls?
To get the taste of Nigger out their mouths.
Why did the tadpole feel lonely?
Because he was newt to the area.
This guy from up north just up and one day moved down south to start himself a farm.
He came across this man and asked him where he could get a good donkey to pull a cart and plow.
The man said I've got just what you need.
Only thing is down here we don't call them donkeys we call them an ass.
He said when this ass stops you'll have to get off the cart and slap them to get it going again.
The northern man thanks him and heads on his way.
He comes up to a man seeking chickens.
He says to the man, I'd like to buy a rooster and a hen.
The guy sai d sure thing but down here we don't call em roosters and hens.
We call them a cock and a pullet.
The man from up north says ok, thanks the man and is on his way.
He going along in his cart when his donkey stops in the middle of the road.
He remembers what the man said he had to do to get it going.
Just then a lady is walking by.
So he walks up to her and says, "excuse me miss, but will you hold my cock and pullet while I slap my ass."
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Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder.
Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky.
Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
Why couldnt the teddy bear eat any more thanksgiving dinner?
He was already stuffed!
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What's a moo hoo for a darling bull?
A dear steer.
What did the flower say to be the bee?
"Buzz off you stupid ugly horny cunt."
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Two skunks were being chased by a bear.
As the bear got closer, one of the skunks said "Whatever shall we do?"
"Let us spray!" replied the other.