Joke #10778

What do you give a deer with an upset stomach? Elkaseltzer.
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has 41.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal

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What do you get if you cross a bottle of water with an electric eel? A bit of a shock really.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
Two snakes were crawling along when one snake asked the other, "Are we poisonous?" The other replied, "You're darn right we are! We're rattlesnakes. Why do you ask?" To which the first replied, "Because I just bit my tongue"
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal
How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry it.
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has 45.89 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant, marriage
A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero" The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week." The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want." Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The man said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."
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has 85.10 % from 423 votes. More jokes about: animal, beauty, computer, IT, programmer
What's a moo hoo for a cattle dinner? Cow chow.
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Why is there no gambling in Africa? -Too many Cheetahs!
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has 60.60 % from 264 votes. More jokes about: animal
How can you tell that elephants have been doing it in your garage? All your Hefty Bags are missing.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: animal
A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?" The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made.." Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.. The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved." The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?" The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his."
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has 82.66 % from 240 votes. More jokes about: animal, dad, god, kids
A guy goes out one day, hunting for bear. After a few hours in the forest, he finally sees a giant grizzly. He gets the bear in the rifle's sight and is about to pull the trigger when he feels a tap on his shoulder. It's another bear. 'Buddy,' the bear says, 'that's my best friend down there. I can rip your head off right now, or you can suck my dick. What's it gonna be?' Fearing for his life, the hunter says 'I'll suck your dick, Mr. Bear.' The next day, hungry for revenge, the hunter returns to the woods and sees the same bear. But as soon as he lines up the bear in his sights, he feels a tap on his shoulder. 'Buddy,' says the bear. 'Today, I can rip your head off or you can fuck me in the ass.' Again fearing for his life, the hunter replies, 'I'll fuck you in the ass Mr.Bear.' The next day, furious at what has happened to him, the hunter returns to the forest in order to kill same bear. Once again, he gets the bear in his rifle sights when he feels a tap on his shoulder. The bear shakes his head at the hunter and says, 'You don't come here for the hunting do you?'
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has 79.08 % from 691 votes. More jokes about: animal, life, sex
Q: What did the apple say to the worm? A: You're boring me.
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal