Q: What is a thespian pony?
A: A little horse play
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Crocodiles are easy.
They try to kill and eat you.
People are harder.
Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first.
- Steve Irwin (1962 - 2006)
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Barking dog at the back door wanting in and your wife's yelling at the front wanting in.
Which one do you let in?
The dog, once he's in, he shuts up!
Q: Why do hippos have to have sex in water?
A: Ever try to keep two tons of pussy wet?
What do you call a poodle with no legs?
A sponge.
Tom was walking down the street when he sees a funeral procession.
At the head was the casket, behind was a man walking a very large dog and behind him were 300 people.
Tom walks over to the guy with the dog and asks who’s funeral is this?
The man answers, “My mother-in-law’s.”
Tom wishes his condolences and asks, “She must of been a very important person, but what’s with the dog?”
He answers, “This is the dog that killed her!”
So Tom asks, “can I borrow the dog for an hour?”
He responds, “Get on line!”
Chuck Norris uses live piranhas as bath toys.
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Where do Russian cows come from?
Moscow.
Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey on Thanksgiving?
They couldn't get the moose in the oven!
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