Q: What is a thespian pony? A: A little horse play
What do you call a tired cow? Milked out.
Question: What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a pit bull? Answer: Lipstick.
What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast? How slime flies.
Law of Cat Composition A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly swimming in my soup." Waiter: "So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?"
There's two fish in a tank, and one says ''How do you drive this thing?''
There are two types of ostriches - Grey and Blue. Grey ones scared hide their head in the sand. The Blue ones sit in the bushes waiting for this moment.
An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and one lands in each of the pints. The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another pint. The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow. The Irishman reaches in to the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers and shakes him while yelling, "Spit it out, ya bastard! Spit it out!"
A teacher was giving a lesson and was telling the pupils that we came from Adam and Eve. A hand went up and the kid said, "But my dad told me that we come from apes, Miss?" Miss replied, "Stay out of this one, Leroy!"
Giraffes were invented when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a horse.