Joke #10809

As horses say to one another. Any friend of yours is a palomino!

Who held the baby octopus to ransom? Squidnappers.

What did Mariah Carey really wanted to sing: "All I want for Christmas is you... to get hit by a reindeer."

I love my cat. My cat does not care.

A fish walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "What would you like?" the fish says holding his neck, "Water".

Q. What's black and white and green? A. A frog sitting on a newspaper.

First Caribou: What kind of math do owls like? Second Caribou: Owlgebra.

A man is walking home when he sees a dog buying meat for his owner. The man watches the dog when the butcher takes a little to much and growls and him until he gets the right amount. The man follows the dog and watches as the dog stands on two legs and helps an old lady across the street. Amazed the man follows the dog home and watches the dog ring the doorbell. When the owner comes to the door the owner takes the bags and tells the dog to stay in the front yard. Frustrated the man goes up to the owner and yells "This dog is amazing! He gets your groceries, makes sure you have the exact change, helps old ladies across the street and this is how you treat him!" The owner replies, "I know but,this is the 3rd time this week he left his keys".

Pet Owner: "Every time a bell rings, my dog goes and sits in the corner." Vet: "That's perfectly normal; he's a boxer."

Why do milking stools only have three legs? 'Cause the cow's got the udder!

Where do cows like to ride on trains? In the cow-boose.