"May I buy half a rabbit?"
"No, we don't split hares."
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says ''How do you drive this thing?''
Why doesn't Sweden export it's cattle?
It wants to keep it's Stockholm!
Why did President Clinton name his dog Buddy instead of Spot?
Because he didn't want people running around the White House saying, "come Spot, come Spot!"
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What band is a cow favorite?
Moody Blues.
Why was the man sued by his horse?
For palomino-money!
Two men were walking through the woods when a large bear walked out into the clearing not more than fifty feet from them.
The first man dropped his backpack and dug out a pair of running shoes. Then, as the bear slowly approached them, he furiously attempted to lace them up.
The second man, somewhat confused, looked at the first man and said, "Whaddya doing? Running shoes ain’t gonna help! You can't outrun that there bear!"
"I don't need to outrun the bear, buddy," said the first man, "I just need to outrun you."
What do you call a group of cattle sent into orbit?
The first herd shot round the world.
Q: What do dogs do after they finish obedience school?
A: They get their masters.
Two neighbors are talking to each other.
First neighbor: Do you know that my dog is so smart, he waits for the newspaper to drop at the doorstep and then delivers it to me?
Second neighbor: Of course, I know that very well.
First neighbor: Really, well then, how?
Second neighbor: My dog came and told me.