"May I buy half a rabbit?"
"No, we don't split hares."
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Yo mama so ugly that when she delivered a little baby after birth the baby saw mum and screamed "It's a gorilla!".
What is the difference between a crazy bunny and a counterfeit banknote?
One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny.
What do you call an operation on a rabbit?
A hare-cut.
What did the magician say when he made his rabbit disappear?
Hare today, gone tomorrow.
Which rabbit was in Western movies?
Hopalong Cassidy.
Q: Where did the newlywed horses stay?
A: In the bridle suite.
Once there were three turtles.
One day they decided to go on a picnic.
When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda.
The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn't eat the sandwiches until he got back.
A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said, "Oh, come on, let's eat the sandwiches."
Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said, "If you do, I won't go!"
A three-year-old boy fell eighteen feet into a zoo enclosure containing seven gorillas.
He was immediately rescued, not by zookeepers, but by one of the animals.
The 150 lb. female gorilla picked up the unconscious form of the boy and laid it at a door to be easily retrieved by zookeepers.
This cross-species rescue has resulted in thousands of dollars in donations to the zoo.
It is perhaps because of these donations that zookeepers have kept quiet about one vital detail, a hastily scrawled note tucked in the boy's collar: "Thanks; but we prefer fruit."
What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Open toad!