Joke #2889

What do you call a dinosaur drinking Tequila? Tyrannosaurus Mex.
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has 25.67 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero" The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week." The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want." Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The man said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."
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has 80.20 % from 498 votes. More jokes about: animal, beauty, computer, IT, programmer
You said this horse could jump as high as a ten foot fence and he can't jump at all. Well neither can a fence!
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
How do elephants hide in the jungle? Paint their balls red and pretend they are cherries! What's the loudest noise in the jungle? Monkeys eating cherries...
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has 57.55 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant
Zebras are just horses that escaped from prison.
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has 31.48 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, prison
What do you call a penguin in the desert? Lost!
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal
In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they talk and drive sportscars. An owl enters a psychologist's office. The psychologist says to the owl, "What is your problem?" The owl replies, "I always sleep at night and am awake during the day. I am an owl and we usually are awake during the night." The psychologist tells the owl to come back in two days to solve his problem, as he is very busy. The next night, a cat comes in. He says, "I always sleep during the day. Like my friends, I want to sleep during the night. Can you help?" The psychologist advises the cat to come back in one day, as he is very busy. The next day, the cat comes very, very, very early for his appointment and ends up at the same time as the owl. The cat is told to wait outside. He peeks in the owl's appointment and figures out his problem... and his address! During the next evening, when the owl usually comes in for his appointment, the cat comes in. The psychologist asks the cat why he is here instead of the owl. The cat replies, "He is here!" and poops on the floor, explaining, "I was sent to deliver him."
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has 34.19 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, cat, disgusting, time
What is the best advice to give a worm? Sleep late.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
A man bought a dachshund for his six children so they’d have a dog they could all pet at once.
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has 17.55 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Why does a dog lick himself? A: He can't make a fist.
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has 42.03 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting
One simply cannot play fair and win in a zoo - there are way too many cheetahs.
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal