Q: What does a cow make when the sun comes out?
A: A shadow.
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What job do rabbits at hotels have?
Bellhop.
Why did the frog walk across the road?
He didn't... he jumped.
I've just discovered a method for making wool out of milk.
But doesn't that make the cow feel a little sheepish?
Why do moths fly with their legs open?
Cause they've got huge mothballs!
Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.
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What would you do if your were in a large room, all sealed up, no windows, the door was locked, and there were 5 hungry tigers, 32 vultures, 17 spitting cobras, 213 tarantulas, 1 laywer, and you had a gun with only two bullets?
Shoot the lawyer twice.
Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender…
"Pour me a stiff one – just had another fight with the little woman."
"Oh yeah?" said Charlie "And how did this one end?"
"When it was over," Mike replied, "she came to me on her hands and knees."
"Really," said Charles, "now that's a switch! What did she say?"
"She said, 'Come out from under the bed, you little chicken.'"
Waiter: "I’ve stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog’s leg."
Customer: "Don’t tell me your problems. Give the menu card."
What do you call a tired cow?
Milked out.
Little Red Riding Hood walks through the forest and sees a wolf hunched under a tree with its ears erect and its mouth stretched in a big grimace.
She says to the wolf, "My, what big ears you have!"
The wolf keeps grimacing.
She says, "My, what big eyes you have!"
The wolf grimaces even wider, baring his teeth.
She says, "My, what big teeth you have!"
The wolf finally snaps and says, "F**k off! I'm trying to take a dump."
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