Q: What does a cow make when the sun comes out?
A: A shadow.
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Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead.
Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
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Why did Bossy slug Roy Rogers?
She heard he was a cowpuncher-
Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse and that is how the giraffe was created.
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What did the cow wear to the football game?
A Jersey.
A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream.
They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, "I think it's going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?"
So off went junior for Father's umbrella, but three days later he still hadn't returned.
"I think, dear," said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, "that we had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts."
And a voice from the door said, "If you do that I won't go."
What do you call a group of cattle sent into orbit?
The first herd shot round the world.
How can you tell that elephants have been doing it in your garage?
All your Hefty Bags are missing.
Two deer walk out of a gay bar, one turns to the other and says, "I can't believe I blew twenty bucks in there..."
It was a hot summer night.
Slowly I spread her legs and my hand was trying to find its way to her nipple...
I was so excited! I never milked a cow before...