Q: What does a cow make when the sun comes out?
A: A shadow.
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A guy went to a whore house and asked the lady if she had a woman that could handle 16 inches.
"Hmm," said the madam. "I'm not sure. Try the first door on the right."
So the guy went inside, stuck it in, and immediately heard screams.
"It's too big! Take it out!" So he went to the madam.
"No, really. I need someone who can handle 16 inches."
"Hmm," said the madam. "Try the last door."
So the guy went inside, stuck it in, and had the time of his life, surprised that there was no scream at all.
In fact, he heard no sounds at all.
Puzzled, he finished up and pulled out.
"Talk to me, baby."
"Moo."
What is a dolphin's favorite TV show?
Whale of fortune.
What do you call a neurotic octopus?
A crazy, mixed-up squid.
A beautiful princess comes upon a frog in a meadow near her castle.
The frog hops into the princess' lap and says, "My lady, one kiss from you, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I once was, and then, my sweet, we can marry and set-up housekeeping in yon castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever be happy doing so."
That night, as the princess dines on lightly sauteed frog legs, she chuckles to herself, "I don't f**kin' think so."
What is slimy and wobbly, tastes of raspberry and lives in the seas?
A red jellyfish.
Piranhas in the aquarium: sink your finger, lose your finger-game!
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What happened to the frog's car when his parking meter expired?
It got toad!!
How do you call a Triceratops with horns on his butt?
Tricera-bottoms.
What is the difference between a crazy bunny and a counterfeit banknote?
One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny.