A man enters a little country store and sees a sign reading, ‘Danger! Beware of Dog’. He then sees an old hound dog lying asleep on the floor. ‘Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?’ says the man to the shopkeeper. ‘Yep,’ replies the shopkeeper. ‘Before I posted that sign, everyone kept tripping over him.’
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
For our daughters 5th birthday we bought her a rabbit. We couldn’t help laughing when on the way she announced "the rabbit’s name is Sparingly." "How do you know?" I asked "look" she responded "it says “feed sparingly 3 times daily."
A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone. One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said "it is quite cold out here can I come in?" The man shouted "NO why don't you all understand I want to be alone!" and he kicked the snail down the mountain. One year later there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for?"
Which rabbit was in Western movies? Hopalong Cassidy.
What does a frog say when it sees something' great? Toadly awesome!
Q. What's green and red? A. A very mad frog.
I once had a goldfish that could break-dance on a carpet, but only for like 20 seconds.
Did you find my horse well behaved? Indeed, whenever we came to a fence he let me over first!
How do you weigh a whale? On Whale Weigh Scales.
Q:Where do you find giant snails? A:On the ends of their fingers.