Did you hear about the overweight man who took up horse riding as exercise?
The horse lost 15 pounds in a week!
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Q: Where did the newlywed horses stay?
A: In the bridle suite.
How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group?
Look for gray hares.
During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general.
"You simpleton!" the officer barked.
"Don't you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?"
"Yes sir," the solder answered apologetically.
"But, if I may say so, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice.
And I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lower branches.
But when two squirrels ran up my pants leg and I heard the bigger say, "Let's eat one now and save the other until winter' - that did it!"
A woman went to the doctor's and complained of being really sore.
"Do you have any idea why?"
"Well, I had sex with an elephant!"
"You did?
But elephants are known to have small penises!"
"Yeah, but he fingered me first."
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris.
After 5 days of extreme pain... the snake died.
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Q: What is it called when a soldier slips into a fox hole?
A: Bestiality
What happens when the cows refuse to be milked?
Udder chaos.
Why don't cows ever have any money?
Because the farmers milk them dry.
Rabbit: "I got kicked out of my cage for not paying the rent. My wife walked out and took our twenty-nine bunnies with her. I m all out of carrots. What should I do?"
Friend: "Don't worry; be hoppy!"