Did you hear about the overweight man who took up horse riding as exercise?
The horse lost 15 pounds in a week!
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk.
Both are dragging their right foot as they walk.
As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, "Vietnam, 1969."
The other points his thumb behind him and says, "Dog crap, 20 feet back."
What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor?
Ground Beef.
What's green and red?
A very mad frog.
''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''
Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
Vote:
Two cows were talking in the field.
One cow says, "Have you heard about the Mad Cow disease that's going around?"
The other cow answers, "Yeah, makes you glad you're a penguin, doesn"t it?"
Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur?
A: Megasoreass.
Two lawyers walking through the woods attracted the attention of a vicious-looking bear.
The bear noticed them, and started to walk toward them.
The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulling out a pair of sneakers, and started putting them on.
The second lawyer looked at him and said: "You're crazy! You'll never be able to outrun that bear!"
"Oh, I know that. Bears are much faster than humans.
I have no hope of ever being able to outrun a bear."
"If you know that, why are you changing shoes?"
"Well, the way I figure it," the first lawyer replied, "I don't have to outrun the bear.
I only have to outrun you."
How do jockeys determine which racehorses are the favourites?
They take a gallop poll!
Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts.
Vote: