What do you call a dinosaur that destroys everything in its path?
Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
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Yo' Mama is so fat, the hippos at the zoo get jealous of her figure.
Q: Why don't black kids play in sand boxs?
A: Because they are affraid the cats will try to cover them up.
Why are rabbits never gold?
How would you tell them apart from goldfish?
"Yes, ma'am," the old salt confided to the inquisitive lady, "I fell over the side of the ship, and a shark he come along and grabbed me by the leg."
"Merciful providence!" his hearer gasped. "And what did you do?"
"Let 'im 'ave the leg, o' course, ma'am. I never argues with sharks."
A old snake goes to see his Doctor.
"Doc, I need something for my eyes...can't see well these days".
The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks.
The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed.
Doc says, "What's the problem...didn't the glasses help you?"
"The glasses are fine doc, I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years!"
What do cows wear when they are on vacation in Hawaii?
Moo moos.
Why is it that if you give a child an encyclopedia, lawyer is always the third thing they look up?
Because the first thing a child looks up is dog.
The second is snake.
And under snake, the encyclopedia says See Lawyer.
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam.
Why did the spider buy a car?
So he could take it out for a spin!