What do you call a dinosaur that destroys everything in its path? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
A New Zealander walking along the road with a sheep under each arm. He meets another New Zealander who says "you sheerin' mate?" and the first guy replies "naw, they're all mine"
When is a lion not a lion? When he turns into his cage.
On the show Man v.s Wild, when they talk about the profesionals that Bear recieves help from, they are refering to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.
Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? A: Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
What happens when a cow stops shaving? It grows a Moostache.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road without looking both ways? "Dead."
YOUR MOMS HOUSE IS SO POOR I WENT TO KNOCK ON HER DOOR AND A ROACH TRIPPED ME AND A RAT TOOK MY WALET.
Q: Why did the fat turkey cross the road? A: To get hit by my car.
Why doesn't Sweden export it's cattle? It wants to keep it's Stockholm!