What do you call a dinosaur that destroys everything in its path?
Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
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Q: What do you get when you cross a collie with a trumpet?
A: A Lassie who plays brassie!
Q: What do you call a car only British animals can drive?
A: OxFord.
How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling?
She’s got that down-in-the-mouth look.
The judge:
Why did you shoot the rabbit without being a member of the hunters association?
The inculpated:
Why did the rabbit eat cabbage from my garden, without being a family member?
What game do little cows like to play?
Moonopoly.
Q. How do rednecks have safe sex?
A. They mark the sheep that kick!
Q: why did the cow cross the road?
A: So he could pass the milkyway.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly confronted by a huge, mean bear.
In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were unsuccessful.
Finally, he turned and ran as fast as he could.
The hunter ran and ran and ran, until he ended up at the edge of a very steep cliff.
His hopes were dim.
Seeing no way out of his predicament, and with the bear closing in rather quickly, the hunter got down on his knees, opened his arms, and exclaimed, "Dear God! Please give this bear some religion!"
The skies darkened and there was lightning in the air.
Just a few feet short of the hunter, the bear came to an abrupt stop, and glanced around, somewhat confused.
Suddenly, the bear looked up into the sky and said, "Thank you, God, for the food I'm about to receive..."