Did you hear about the race horse that was so late coming in?
They had to pay the jockey overtime!
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Q: What is the difference between a rooster and a whore?
A: The rooster goes cock doodle do and the whore goes any cock do!
What do you call fish poop?
BassTurds!
Did you hear about Mike Tyson's horse?
It got angry and bit at the champ!
Q: What is height of De-hydration?
A: A cow giving milk powder.
Yo' Mama is so fat, she tried to eat her chicken pox.
Why didn't the teddy bear eat his lunch?
(Because he was stuffed!)
One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted
to him and during her questions about his life she asked him
how he managed for sex.
"What's that?" he asked.
She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I use a
hole in the trunk of a tree."
Horrified, she said, "Tarzan, you have it all wrong. I'll
show you how to do it properly."
She took off her clothes,
laid down on the ground and spread her legs wide.
"Here," she
said, "You must put it in here."
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her
an almighty kick, right in the crotch.
Jane rolled around in agony.
Eventually she managed to gasp,
"What the hell did you do that for?"
"Checking for bees!" said Tarzan.
What did the frog say to the fly?
You are really starting to bug me!
One goldfish to his tankmate: "If there's no God, who changes the water?"
A horse and a rabbit are playing in a meadow.
The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking.
He calls to the rabbit to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety.
The rabbit runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found.
He drives the farmer’s Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper.
He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!
A few days later, the rabbit and horse were playing in the meadow again and the rabbit fell into the mud hole.
The rabbit yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer.
The horse said, “I think I can stand over the hole!”
So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, “Grab for my dick and pull yourself up.”
And the rabbit did and pulled himself to safety.
The moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse, you don’t need a Mercedes!