Did you hear about the race horse that was so late coming in?
They had to pay the jockey overtime!
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Once Odhiambo a dark kenyan man was travelling to london by air sitting next to a white lady with his pet monkey.
Oodhiambo stood up and went to the washrooms and when he came back he found his bunch of bananas missing.
He asked the white lady "Sorry your brother here ate them all" she said while patting the monkey.
After a while the lady got up and went to the washroom to come back and find his pet monkey dead
She inquired on the matter, Odhiambo camly replied "I killed it."
"Why?" asked the lady.
He replied "This is family matter it doesnt concern you."
Vote:
Why was the horseman fired from his job of saddle testing?
He was always standing up on the job!
The matchmaker approached a single woman and told her he had a husband for her.
“I’m ashamed to bring this up,” he said, “but the man wants to be sure you are compatible in bed. He wants, he says, a sample.”
The woman was shocked. “Such a thing you ask a Christian virtuous woman? Such a crude person would suggest such a thing? He must be a barnyard animal, not a gentleman.”
The matchmaker, trying to earn a fee, said, “He’s a pragmatic, man. After all, to him it’s not a big deal… just a sample.”
She thought a minute. “A pragmatic man, is he? So tell him I don’t give samples. I can give him 50 or 60 references, if he wants, though.
What do you call a dog wearing ear muffs?
Anything you want, he cant hear you.
Q: What do dogs do after they finish obedience school?
A: They get their masters.
What do cows get when they are sick?
Hay Fever.
Q: Why do women have 2% more brains then a cow?
A: So, when you pull their tits they won't shit on the floor.
Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats.
Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
Vote:
What's a rabbits favorite TV show?
Hoppy Days.