What do you call a bear with no teeth, a gummy bear!
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How did the blonde try to kill the bird??
She threw it off a cliff.
Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle?
A. Wheeeee.
What do you call a gay dinosaur?…… Mega-sore-ass.
What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy?
Oh no, not snake and pygmy pie again!
Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: "I really don't get how he can feed himself with that thing!"
What weighs 35 tons, has four fuzzy ears and is 80 million years old?
Two rabbits riding a brontosaurus.
I thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 20 minutes before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a pigeon.
Mama Raptor and Papa Raptor were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Raptor a choice of which parent to live with.
JUDGE: "Do you want to live with your mother?"
BABY RAPTOR: "No! She beats me."
JUDGE: "OK, then you can live with your father."
BABY RAPTOR: "No! He beats me too!"
JUDGE: "Well you have to live with someone. Who do you want to live with?"
BABY RAPTOR: "I want to live with my Aunt Bertha in Toronto."
JUDGE: "Is there any chance she'll beat you also?"
BABY RAPTOR: "No sir. The Toronto Raptors don't beat anybody."
There was a papa mole, a momma mole, and a baby mole.
They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse.
Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell sausage!"
Momma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell pancakes!"
Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn't because of the two bigger moles.
Baby mole said, "The only thing I smell is molasses."
Mohan (to the doctor): "Doctor, can you diagnose my Illness?"
Doctor: "Your eyesight seems to be poor."
Mohan: "How did you come to that conclusion?"
Doctor: "You seemed to have missed noticing the sign, hung outside. This is a veterinary hospital."