What do you call a bear with no teeth, a gummy bear!
Man decides to buy a pet, but does not know what he wants as a pet, so he goes to the pet shop in search of a pet. He sees cats in a cage dogs on another cage spiders, rabbits, frogs, birds, fish in aquariums and finally he sees a very colorful parrot in the corner of the store and he goes to the area where the parrot was and salesman asks him, "Are you interested in this parrot?" The man says, "Does he talk?" the salesman says, "If you pull his left leg he will say the our father and if you pull his right leg, he will say the hailmary!" The man says, "What will the parrot say if I pull both legs at the same time?" The parrot says, "I'll fall on my ass stupid!"
What do you get if you cross a hippo, elephant and a rhino? A Helephino!!
How much do I owe Yo' Mama? My dog came home happy last night.
How do snails get their shells all shiny? They use snail polish.
What is a cow's favourite TV show? Dr Moo.
Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors? Because, if it had 4 doors it would be chicken sedan.
"Mommy, all the kids at school say I'm a werewolf! Is that true?" "No, of course not. Now shut up and comb your face."
Did you find my horse well behaved? Indeed, whenever we came to a fence he let me over first!
You know Chuck Norris' pet lizard, right? Last I heard, he was in the movie "Godzilla". Oh, and his pet turtle starred in "Gamera" as well.
What kind of cars do rabbits drive? Hop rods.