Joke #1491

What do you call a bear with no teeth, a gummy bear!
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Q) What do you call a dog with no legs? A) It doesn't matter, he won't come!
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Why is manna from heaven like horse hay? Both are food from aloft!
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Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.
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Yo momma so fat when she goes camping the bears hide their food.
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A man goes to the circus. After the show he speaks to the manager and asks for a job. "Alright, what can you do?", the manager asks. "I can do great bird impressions", the man replies. "Pssh, a lot of people can do that". "Oh well", the man says and flies away.
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Did you hear about the horse that has made a dozen films? He's not a star though, he just does bit parts!
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You know Chuck Norris' pet lizard, right? Last I heard, he was in the movie "Godzilla". Oh, and his pet turtle starred in "Gamera" as well.
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A blonde is driving down the road and she sees a dead rabbit. She stops the car and called out, "Does anybody got any hairspray!?" A man pulls up and gives her a bottle of spray and she sprays it on the dead rabbit and the man stares and says "Why u doing that?" The blonde says "Hairspray is for dead hairs"
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Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An Investigator
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A man buys a pet parrot and brings him home. But the parrot starts insulting him and gets really nasty, so the man picks up the parrot and tosses him into the freezer to teach him a lesson. He hears the bird squawking for a few minutes, but all of a sudden the parrot is quiet. The man opens the freezer door, the parrot walks out, looks up at him and says, "I apologize for offending you, and I humbly ask your forgiveness." The man says, "Well, thank you. I forgive you." The parrot then says, "If you don't mind my asking, what did the chicken do?"
Vote: has 66.88 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

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