Joke #1491

What do you call a bear with no teeth, a gummy bear!
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Two cows were chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm."  The other cow replied, "Hell, I ain't worried, it won't affect us ducks."
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, duck, health
When does a rabbit go exactly as fast as a train? When it's on the train.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, travel
What does a bunny use when it goes fishing? A harenet.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of humor? A: Laughing stock.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
An old man in Mississippi was sitting on his front porch watching the sun rise. He sees the neighbor's kid walk by carrying something big under his arm.  He yells out "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"  Boy yells back "Roll of chicken wire."  Old man says "What you gonna do with that?"  Boy says "Gonna catch some chickens."  Old man yells "You damn fool, you can't catch chickens with chicken wire!"  Boy just laughs and keeps walking.  That evening at sunset the boy comes walking by and to the old man's surprise he is dragging behind him the chicken wire with about 30 chickens caught in it.  Same time next morning the old man is out watching the sun rise and he sees the boy walk by carrying something kind of round in his hand.  Old man yells out "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"  Boy yells back "Roll of duck tape."  Old man says "What you gonna do with that?"  Boy says back "Gonna catch me some ducks."  Old man yells back, "You damn fool, you can't catch ducks with duck tape!"  Boy just laughs and keeps walking.  That night around sunset the boy walks by coming home and to the old man's amazement he is trailing behind him the unrolled roll of duck tape with about 35 ducks caught in it.  Same time next morning the old man sees the boy walking by carrying what looks like a long reed with something fuzzy on the end.  Old man says "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"  Boy says "It's a pussy willow."  Old man says "Wait up ... I'll get my hat."
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has 85.72 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: animal, old people
Labradoodles were made when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a Labrador and a Poodle at the same time.
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, dog
What four animals does a woman like to have in her house? A tiger in bed, a mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage and a jackass to pay for it all.
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has 78.03 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, mean, money, women
A nude guy was sunbathing at the beach, a little girl comes to him, he covers his private parts with a newspaper. The little girl asks, "hats under there?" So the man answers , "A bird..." The girl goes away & the man falls asleep. When he wakes up, he finds himself in a hospital & in alot of pain. A doctor comes up to his bed & asks, 'What happened?' The man answers, "I don't know. I was at the beach & fell asleep after talking to a little girl." So the doctor tells this to the Police, and they go to the beach to find any witnesses. When they got there, they see the little girl the man was talking about. So they ask her if she did anything to the man...? She answers, "I din't do anything to the man, but he was sleeping, I played with his bird, After a while, it spat at me, so i broke its neck, burnt its nest, and smashed all its eggs!"
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has 63.51 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, doctor, men
What is a moo hoo for a delightful ranch owner? A charmer farmer.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What is a crowbar? A: A place were crows go to get a drink!
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar