What do you get if you cross a skunk and a dinosaur? A stinkasaurus.
Which day of the week do chickens hate most? Fry-day!
Q: What would you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent? A: A snake in the brass.
What's red and green and goes at 100mph? A frog in a blender.
What are the spots on black-and-white cows? Holstaines.
You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.
Barking dog at the back door wanting in and your wife's yelling at the front wanting in. Which one do you let in? The dog, once he's in, he shuts up!
What's a skunk's philosophy of life? Eat, stink and be merry.
One day three women went camping - a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. The blonde suddenly had to go to the bathroom. She went into the woods with her toilet paper and did her business. While she was gone, the brunette and the redhead decided to play a joke on her. They skinned a rabbit and snuck up on the blonde, put the guts behind her and ran back to the campsite. Three minutes later they heard a scream. Then they waited another half an hour and the blonde came back, sweating. She said, "I had to poop so hard I pooped my guts out. But thanks to God and these two fingers, I stuffed them back in."
A blonde desserts her home town out of shame, and colors her hair brown. She drives past a farm and sees all the sheep. She goes up to the farmer and ask, "If I guess how many sheep you have can I have one?" The farmer nodded. She continued. "159" The farmer is surprised. "How did you know?" "Lucky guess" She grabs one and gets in her car. The farmer comes up and says, "If I can guess your real hair color can I get my dog back?"