What do you get if you cross a skunk and a dinosaur? A stinkasaurus.
What are cows favorite party games? MOO-sical chairs.
Q: What do women and cats have in common? A: Pussy farts.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side…
Two flies sit on a pile of poop. One fly passes gas. The other fly looks at him and says, "Hey do you mind? I'm eating here."
Two bats are hanging upside down on a branch. One asks the other, "Do you recall your worst day last year?" The other responds, "Yes, the day I had diarrhea!"
I was just told that my dog chased someone on a bicycle and bit him. That's bullshit, my dog can't even ride a bicycle.
Why did the gray whale go on a diet? Because he wasn't a Fin whale.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have? Plenty of milk.
Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.
What magazine makes cows stampede to the newsstand? Cows-mopolitan!