What do you get if you cross a skunk and a dinosaur?
A stinkasaurus.
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What do cows call Frank Sinatra?
Old Moo Eyes.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
You don't because it won't come.
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth.
Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
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How is a rabbit like a plum?
They re both purple, except for the rabbit.
Q: What does an elephant use as tampon?
A: A sheep.
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Q: What do dogs do after they finish obedience school?
A: They get their masters.
A plowhorse, a honeybee and an old geezer are debating about which of them is the greatest.
The horse says, "I can plow all day long to provide food for dozens of people!"
"
The bee says, "I pollinate all the plants every year and make honey besides!"
The old geezer says...
(We're waiting...)
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In what type of weather is the vet the busiest?
When its raining cats and dogs.
Two drunks had just gotten thrown out of the bar and are walking down the street when they come across this dog, sitting on the curb, licking his balls.
They stand there watching and after a while one of them says, " I sure wish I could do that!"
The other one looks at him and says, "Well, I think I'd pet him first".