What do you get if you cross a skunk and a dinosaur? A stinkasaurus.
What’s the difference between cats and dogs? Dogs have owners, cats have staff.
I feel like every nature documentary is directed by a psychopath. "Here's the cutest baby animal ever." "Now let's watch something eat it."
What did the frog say to the fly? You are really starting to bug me!
A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing, they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot. Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a ripoff! I put him on the pot before a whole audience, and he didn't dance a single step!" "What!?" asked the duck's former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"
I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces at the pond today.
There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods... Cats have never forgotten this. Here's proof that Cats are smarter than dogs... You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. People who hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life.Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God! Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.My husband said it was him or the cat... I miss him sometimes. Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit!
What do you call a dinosaur drinking Tequila? Tyrannosaurus Mex.
Q: Why do fish live in to the salt water? A: For the reason that pepper makes them sneeze!
''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''
What do you get if you cross a bottle of water with an electric eel? A bit of a shock really.