What do you get if you cross a skunk and a dinosaur?
A stinkasaurus.
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Why did the dinosaur have so few friends?
Because Tyrannosaurus reeks!
If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped.
What's a tiger?
A stri-ped.
Yo mama's so fat, Godzilla tried to f**k her and fell in.
What is the most famous shark?
William Sharkspeare.
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear started the forest fire?
A: He got arrested just like you would've.
Q: What is worst than raining black cats and bloodhounds?
A: Hailing taxi cabs!
In Noah’s ark, on day 3 the animals could no longer hold their sexual desire, so they started having sex with one another.
But Noah got really angry cause the Ark started shaking dangerously and he decided that it was time to put things in order.
So he ordered that every male should get a card stating the name of his wife and the days they were allowed to mate. So they did…
After a couple of days, during breakfast in the Ark’s cafeteria the monkey said to his wife:
"You’ d better get ready ‘cause next Tuesday you’ll suffer cruelly!"
The female monkey felt really ashamed because all of the animals heard her husband…
The day after, the male monkey said to his wife again: "You’ d better get ready ‘cause next Tuesday you’ll suffer cruelly!"
The female monkey feeling really confused, told Noah what had happened, so Noah called the male monkey in his office and asked for an explanation.
“You kinky monkey! Why do you insist on disgracing your wife in front of all the other animals?” said Noah
“I am not kinky sir”, said the monkey “I’m just warning her because I lost my card at a poker game and now the elephant has it…”
What do you call a bull that runs into a threshing machine?
Hamburger.