What do you get if you cross a skunk and a dinosaur?
A stinkasaurus.
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Which rabbit is a famous comedian?
Bob Hop.
Chuck Norris was mauled by a bear once, then the bear woke up and apologized.
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Have you seen the offices of the RSPCA?
It’s tiny; you couldn’t swing a cat in there.
What's the difference between a reindeer and a snowball?
They re both brown, except the snowball.
Two blondes went to the pound where each adopted a puppy.
The joy of their new best friend was quickly overshadowed when they got home and the first blonde said, “I think we’re in trouble, how are we going to tell them apart?”
This lead to several hours of concentration until finally, the second blonde said, “I’ve got an idea. We’ll tie a red bow around my puppy and a blue bow around yours.”
The next day the first blonde comes running up to the second when she got home, “Oh no, I can’t tell whose puppy is whose. They’ve pulled the ribbons off while they were playing.”
“OK, we need to find a better way to tell them apart,” says the second blonde.
After several more hours of concentration, they came up with the bright idea of getting different colored collars.
Again, the next day, the first blonde comes running up to the second as soon as she gets home, “Oh no, I can’t tell whose puppy is whose. They’ve pulled their collars off while they were playing.”
“There’s got to be some way to tell them apart,” says the second blonde.
After several more hours of concentration, the first blonde finally comes up with another idea, “I know! Why don’t you take the black one and I’ll take the white one!”
Tow millipedes went for honey moon.
The male one asked: "My darling, between which feet is your pussy, please?"
What's black and white and green?
A frog sitting on a newspaper.
Question: What’s worse than a male chauvinistic pig?
Answer: A woman that doesn’t do what she’s told.
What do you get if you cross a bottle of water with an electric eel?
A bit of a shock really.