Joke #1427

Q:Why did the cow cross the road? A:To go to the moo-vies.
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has 32.79 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A guy walks into a Raptors bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is wearing a "Toronto Raptors" jersey and helmet, and is festooned with "Raptors" pom-poms. The bartender says: "Hey! No pets are allowed in here! You'll have to leave!" The guy begs him: "Look, I'm desperate. We're both big fans, the TV is broken, and this is the only place around where we can see the game!" After securing a promise that the dog will behave, and warning him that he and the dog will be thrown out if there's any trouble, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game. The big game begins and Vince Carter does a great slum dunk. With that the dog jumps up on the bar, and begins walking up and down the bar giving high-fives to everyone. The bartender says: "Wow, that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do if Raptors win?" The owner replies: "I don't know, I've only had him for a half year."
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has 43.52 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, dog, game
What is a Zebra? A Z-bra is 25 sizes bigger than an A-bra.
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has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, women
What is the difference between an pilot and a pig? The pig doesn't turn into a pilot when it's drunk.
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has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: air force, animal, drunk
Why did the rabbit run out of the fast-food restaurant? He thought he heard someone order a quarter pounder on a toasted bunny.
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car. Another hunter approached pulling his along too. "Hey, I don’t want to tell you how to do something… but I can tell you that it’s much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won’t dig into the ground." After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it. A little while later one hunter said to the other, "You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!" "Yeah, but we’re getting farther from the truck," the other added.
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, hunting, life
What dinosaur can't stay out in the rain? Stegosaur-rust.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
How do you confuse a frog? Put it in a round bowl and tell it to take a nap in the corner.
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has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal
What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy? Oh no, not snake and pygmy pie again!
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has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, marriage, wife
"Name?" "Abdul Aziz." "Sex?" "Three to five times a day." "No, no... I mean male or female?" "Yes, male, female, sometimes camel." "Holy cow!" "Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general." "But isn't that hostile?" "Horse style, doggy style, any style!" "Oh dear!" "No, no! Deer run too fast..."
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has 76.37 % from 1043 votes. More jokes about: animal, sex
A baby polar bear goes up to his dad and asks, "Dad, am I pure polar bear?" The dad replies, "Sure you are son. Im all polar bear, my parents are all polar bear, your mom is all polar bear, and her parents are all polar bear." Still unsure the baby polar bear goes to his mom and asks, "Mom, am I pure polar bear?" She answers, "Of course you are honey. Im all polar bear, your father is all polar bear, my parents are all polar bear, and his parents are all polar bear." Still not convinced the baby polar bear goes to his grandparents and asks, "Grandmom...Grandpop...am I all polar bear?" His grandmother answers, "Of course you are sweetie. Were all polar bear, your mother is all polar bear, your father is all polar bear, and his parents are all polar bear. Why do you ask sweetie?" The baby polar bears replies, "Because I m feeling **** cold and freezing!"
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has 43.43 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby