Joke #1427

Q:Why did the cow cross the road? A:To go to the moo-vies.
Vote: has 21.85 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

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How to catch a polar bear: Go up north and find a frozen lake or pond. Cut a large hole in the ice. Open a can of green peas, and place the peas around the edge of the hole single file. Hide behind a nearby rock. When the bear comes up to take a pea, kick him in the ice-hole!
Vote: has 22.18 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

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A blind man with a guide dog comes to a town square, takes the dog by the tail and starts whirling him around. „What on earth are you doing?!" asks a passer-by. The blind man replies, „Nothing, just looking around a bit."
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

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A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all depressed. His friend asked him why he was looking depressed and he replied,  "Some things you just can't explain. This morning I was outside milking a cow. As soon as the bucket was full the cow kicked it down with his left foot so I tied up his left foot to a pole. I began to fill up the bucket again and he kicked it down with his right foot, so I tied his right foot to a pole too. As soon as I finished milking the cow again he knocked down the bucket with his tail and I took off my belt and tied up his tail with my belt. As I was tying up his tail, my pants dropped down, then my wife came out and well, trust me, some things you just can't explain."
Vote: has 74.96 % from 72 votes. Send joke:

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Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?"  Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"
Vote: has 47.66 % from 62 votes. Send joke:

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Teacher: If a lion is chasing you, what would you do? Christy: I'd climb a tree. Teacher: if the lion climbs a tree? Christy: I will jump in the lake and swim. Teacher: if the lion also jumps in the water and swims after you? Christy: Teacher, are you on my side or on the lion's?
Vote: has 82.72 % from 208 votes. Send joke:

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Law of Cat Composition A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.
Vote: has 48.02 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

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Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender… "Pour me a stiff one – just had another fight with the little woman." "Oh yeah?" said Charlie "And how did this one end?" "When it was over," Mike replied, "she came to me on her hands and knees." "Really," said Charles, "now that's a switch! What did she say?" "She said, 'Come out from under the bed, you little chicken.'"
Vote: has 74.20 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why did the duck go to Brooklyn? A: To buy some quack.
Vote: has 24.92 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

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Why did the frog cross the road? To see what the chicken was doing.
Vote: has 34.78 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

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