Chuck Norris sank the Titanic on a late afternoon swim.
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Chuck Norris' Motto is: "The beard is mightier than the sword."
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Chuck Norris didn't cross the road... he was already on the other side...
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Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one.
When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face.
We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
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When Chuck Norris went to Easter island, he couldn't understand why other tourists kept asking him to pose for photos next to the stone monoliths.
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Steve Austin had to be rebuilt as the Six Million Dollar Man after he looked Chuck Norris in the eye, shook his hand and then went weak at the knees.
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In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease".
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Chuck Norris can freeze water using a toaster.
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The only apocolypse that can happen is if bogyman insults Chuck Norris.
The whole universe goes to hell.
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Chuck Norris found the end of a rainbow.
The leprachuan said he couldn't have the gold.
So he roundhouse kicked him in the face.
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A total eclipse won't look directly at Chuck Norris.
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