Chuck Norris CAN leave Hotel California.
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Santa writes to Chuck Norris about what he wants for Christmas.
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Chuck Norris has the right to keep and arm bears.
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Chuck Norris has a basement in his treehouse.
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Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Chuck Norris' personal chef.
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The only time Chuck Norris made a mistake was when he thought he made a mistake
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Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.
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Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone.
His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
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Chuck Norris jumps on hand grenades to shave his chest hair.
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Chuck Norris holds the world record for most push ups done in a hour, the number is all of them.
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Chuck Norris doesn't contribute to global warming, he exhales pure oxygen.
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