Chuck Norris does, in fact, put his pants on two legs at a time.
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Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.
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Chuck Norris is standing right behind you when you're reading this.
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The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second.
It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.
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Transformers are just another name for Chuck Norris' grade 5 science project.
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Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face.
Nobody would survive anyway.
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Chuck Norris "Caught 'Em All " twice.
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Chuck Norris found the stairway to heaven, but he prefers the elevator.
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Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 Minutes in a half-hour.
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If you see the Blue Screen of Death on your laptop... it's because Chuck Norris found out you were reading Chuck Norris jokes.
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Chuck Norris called McDonald's through the television.
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