Chuck Norris does, in fact, put his pants on two legs at a time.
Chuck Norris injected his blood into a monkey, a fish, and a lizard. They are now known as King Kong, Jaws, and Godzilla.
Chuck Norris removes the tag from mattresses, and mails them back to the company.
Chuck Norris can pick "side" when flipping a coin.
If Chuck Norris fights with himself, it's a win-win situation.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
Chuck Norris won the Boston marathon in New York.
Even after muting "Walker, Texas Ranger", you can still hear Chuck Norris's victims screaming after getting roundhouse kicked.
The earth doesn't revolve around the sun. It's the sun that revolves around Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
The dark side of the moon is the side that cowers in fear of Chuck Norris.