Chuck Norris never reads the News – because Chuck Norris IS the News.
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Chuck Norris writes on pencils with paper.
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Chuck Norris doesn't tie shoelaces, he wins them.
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Latin insulted Chuck Norris.
It is now a dead language.
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Q: How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
A: Zero. He simply stares at the candy and the outer coating is gone.
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The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there.
In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
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On the show Man v.s Wild, when they talk about the profesionals that Bear recieves help from, they are refering to Chuck Norris.
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Santa Clause doesn't watch you sleep but Chuck Norris does.
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Chuck Norris can get a strike in bowling using a ping-pong ball.
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Chuck Norris doesn't take the cake, the cake sees Chuck Norris and begs to be devoured.
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They once had a showing of Walker Texas Ranger in 3D.
There where no survivors.
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