Chuck Norris never reads the News – because Chuck Norris IS the News.
When somebody else yawns, Chuck Norris does not.
Trains stop at Chuck Norris crossings.
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
Chuck Norris roundhoused some wannabe cop named Agent Sasevel so hard that it rearranged the letters of his name to Steven Seagal.
Chuck Norris once caught a cold, then he killed it!
Demons don't hunt Chuck Norris... He is hunting them!
The world won't end in 2012, it will end when Chuck Norris gets bored of it.
One does not simply survive Chuck Norris.
The climate requires Chuck's permission to change.