Chuck Norris never reads the News – because Chuck Norris IS the News.
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Chuck Norris can make music in Adobe Photoshop.
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Chuck Norris can headbutt himself in the face.
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Chuck Norris can turn on clapper lights by flexing.
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Chuck Norris can actually punch you in the soul.
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A cop once pulled Chuck Norris over...Luckily, the cop left only with a warning.
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When Chuck Norris wants salad, he eats a vegetarian.
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Chuck Norris puts the 'laughter' in 'manslaughter'.
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Some people wear Superman Underwear, Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.
On the other hand, Chuck Norris wears no underwear.
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Once Chuck Norris rubbed a magical lamp, nothing came out.
The genie ain't stupid.
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Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
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