Chuck Norris never reads the News – because Chuck Norris IS the News.
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Chuck Norris was born feet first.
It was the only time a doctor died during childbirth.
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Chuck Norris makes Power Point look weak.
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The Dead Sea was formerly known as The Living Sea.
Until it met Chuck Norris.
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Q: What do a bungee jump cord and a hooker have in common?
A: If the rubber breaks you're screwed.
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The first thing James Cameron saw when he reached the Challenger Deep was Chuck Norris snorkeling down to test his new watch.
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When Chuck Norris had a baby he was horny for the nurse and had a 70-inch long.
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Chuck Norris can stab a knife with a man.
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Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin.
The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
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Shhhhh...
Did you hear that?
Chuck did.
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Usain Bolt only began running when he heard, Chuck Norris was in Jamaica shooting a commercial for Red Bull.
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