Chuck Norris never reads the News – because Chuck Norris IS the News.
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Chuck Norris once separated his powers into five people, they are now called The Avengers.
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Somebody said that Chuck sucks, since then their severed head with many foot marks have been found...
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Chuck Norris can have his cake and eat yours too.
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When Chuck Norris watches TV it changes the channel for him when he asks just out of fear.
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On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers.
He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
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Once upon a time, Chuck Norris moved a Mack truck out of his way.
We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
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Chuck Norris doesn't shave, his beard grows to the perfect length and stops.
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What every sports player should say after winning?
"First of all, I would like to thank Chuck Norris for not competing."
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According to CNN, Chuck Norris was commanding the SEAL team in Afghanistan.
When Osama found that out, he shot himself in the head.
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When Chuck Norris was 5 he threw a paper airplane.
It landed yesterday.
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