Chuck Norris never reads the News – because Chuck Norris IS the News.
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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
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Chuck Norris gave birth to himself because nobody else is capable (or could even live) to give birth to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
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When somebody else yawns, Chuck Norris does not.
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The president of the USA lives in the White House.
Chuck Norris lives in the Roundhouse.
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That recent tsunami was caused when Chuck Norris dropped a pebble into the ocean.
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Chuck Norris once went to Stevie Wonders concerts and smiled at him; Stevie Wonder is now blind.
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Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom.
Because he never f*cks up.
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Across all of the infinite number of parallel universes the version of Chuck Norris is the same.
Nature knows perfection when she sees it.
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Chuck Norris once entered a black hole just to see what was in it.
Dissapointed, he then walked out.
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