Chuck Norris never reads the News – because Chuck Norris IS the News.
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UV rays are caused by Chuck Norris' smiles.
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If you stab Chuck Norris, your knife will bleed.
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When Chuck Norris throws a throwing knife, the knife doesn't kill his victim, the force of the air did.
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Earth is not spinning around the sun.
The sun is just desperately trying to keep a distance to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris didn't shoot the sheriff, but he roundhouse kicked the deputy.
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Chuck Norris went for a swim in the ocean.
The sharks headed for land.
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What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died?
His shoe.
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Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
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Evolution ended the day Chuck Norris was born.
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Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.
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