Chuck Norris never reads the News – because Chuck Norris IS the News.
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When a Jedi dies they become part of the force, when the force dies it becomes part of Chuck Norris.
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For fear of Chuck Norris, his shoes tie themselves.
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Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris wrote the Assassins creed!
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Every time Chuck Norris farts a hurricane forms.
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Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
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Chuck Norris inflated a flat school bus tire, with his lungs.
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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
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Facebook hides it's privacy from Chuck Norris.
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