Chuck Norris never reads the News – because Chuck Norris IS the News.
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Wagner is really Chuck Norris!
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Steve Austin had to be rebuilt as the Six Million Dollar Man after he looked Chuck Norris in the eye, shook his hand and then went weak at the knees.
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The Godfather once came to Chuck Norris and asked for a favor.
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Chuck Norris wins every political campaign, but politely declines the jobs.
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The earth doesn't revolve around the sun.
It's the sun that revolves around Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear a wristwatch.
He always knows when it's time to kick some ass.
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Chuck Norris can make a slinky go upstairs.
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Chuck Norris won the Kentucky derby, on a Unicorn.
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Chuck Norris can play volleyball with a bowlingball.
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Jedis are now taught to use the "Chuck".
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