Chuck Norris never reads the News – because Chuck Norris IS the News.
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Chuck Norris can facebook through a calculator.
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Chuck Norris doesn't solve math - math solves Chuck Norris.
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Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it.
Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
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Chuck Norris once sued a Law and Order Company because those are the trademark item names of his right and left legs.
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Some say that Chuck Norris is the Stig.
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Scissors are told not to run with Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can suck a black hole.
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If you write the Death Note on Chuck Norris, the Death Note dies.
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In space Chuck Norris can hear your screams.
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Finally, they discovered real cause of Bruce Lee's death – extreme exhaustion from fight with Chuck Norris.
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