Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
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Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris sleeps until he tells the sun to get up.
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The Tower of Pisa was in Chuck Norris' way.
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Q: What do a penis and a Rubik's Cubes have in common?
A: The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
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Chuck Norris didn't cross the road... he was already on the other side...
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Dan staggers into the shower.
He notices that his d**k is bright orange.
He feels normal, but he's concerned and goes to the doctor.
After a thorough examination, the doctor says, "You seem to be fine and all of the tests are normal. Did you do anything out of the ordinary over the weekend?"
Dan says, "No. All I did was stay home, watch porno movies and eat Cheetos."
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Chuck Norris' muscles are so developed that he's had intellectual conversations with them.
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