Joke #806

Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.

Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.

Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can do push-ups with his beard.

When Chuck Norris forgets something it ceases to exist.

Chuck Norris uses the lethal injection to have a 5min nap.

A cowboy rides in the desert and comes upon a Native American lying naked with a hard-on. He asks, "What are you doing?" The naked man replies, "I'm finding out the time -- it is 12:15." The cowboy looks at his watch and thinks, "Wow, it really is 12:15." The cowboy continues and sees another Native American lying naked with a hard-on. He asks, "What are you doing?" The naked man replies, "I'm seeing what time it is -- it is 3:15." The cowboy looks at his watch and that is the correct time. The cowboy continues and finds a third Native American lying naked on the ground, masturbating. The cowboy asks what he's doing and he replies, "I'm winding my watch."

Dad: Hey son, if you keep masturbating your going to go blind. Son: Dad im over here.

The proprietor of an adult store steps out to run a few errands and leaves his employee in charge. A woman comes in and wants to purchase a dildo. She looks at the shelf behind the register. "How much for the white one?" "$10." "How much for the black one?" "$20." She buys the white one. A little later , another woman comes in and also wants to buy a dildo. After asking the clerk for prices, she decides on the black one. A third lady comes in for a dildo. She checks the price of the white one , the black one and asks about the plaid one. She makes her purchase and leaves.The proprietor returns and asks how things went. "Great! I sold a white one, a black one, and I got thirty buck for your thermos!"