Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
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Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
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A cowboy rides in the desert and comes upon a Native American lying naked with a hard-on. He asks, "What are you doing?"
The naked man replies, "I'm finding out the time -- it is 12:15."
The cowboy looks at his watch and thinks, "Wow, it really is 12:15."
The cowboy continues and sees another Native American lying naked with a hard-on. He asks, "What are you doing?"
The naked man replies, "I'm seeing what time it is -- it is 3:15."
The cowboy looks at his watch and that is the correct time.
The cowboy continues and finds a third Native American lying naked on the ground, masturbating.
The cowboy asks what he's doing and he replies, "I'm winding my watch."
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Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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Dad: Hey son, if you keep masturbating your going to go blind.
Son: Dad im over here.
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Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate?
A: Miracle Whip.
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How is a soyburger like a dildo?
They're both substitutes for meat.
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Chuck Norris can smoke underwater.
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