Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
Chuck Norris can drive to the moon... on foot.
Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
The only apocolypse that can happen is if bogyman insults Chuck Norris. The whole universe goes to hell.
Chuck Norris can piss into Gale force winds.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
Chuck Norris can see ultra-violet light.
Chuck Norris pours the milk first, then he pours the cereal. Then he places the bowl.
There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.