Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
Crest fights cavities, Chuck Norris kills them.
If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank. By phone.
Right angles used to be called wrong angles until Chuck said, "I don't see anything wrong with them."
There was no volcanic eruption in Iceland - Chuck Norris opened the BBQ season.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
You know the movie, Alien VS Predator? Well it used to be called Alien VS Predator VS Chuck Norris, but no body would pay to see a fight 7 seconds long.
Chuck Norris once walked in the opposite direction in the Running of the Bulls. The bulls turned around and ran for their lives.
The second hardest element in the universe is Chuck Norris. The first only comes into existance when Chuck gets excited.
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.