Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
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Chuck Norris got elected for president, even though he didn't run for anything.
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When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris
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If Chuck Norris jumped off the Empire State Building, your mom would tell you to do it too.
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Chuck Norris gave birth to himself because nobody else is capable (or could even live) to give birth to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris's motorcycle has 4WD.
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Chuck Norris is so hard, he uses diamonds as stress balls.
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Chuck Norris kills 100% of germs.
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Chuck Norris could catch that damn acorn in those ICE AGE movies!
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Chuck Norris is cooler than the other side of the pillow.
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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