Chuck Norris can wipe rainwater from inside his car.
Question: Why are hurricanes sometimes named after women? Answer: When they come they’re wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them.
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway. But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
Chuck Norris doesn't sweat. He forces the air around him to cry and uses it's tears to cool himself.
When Chuck Norris gets pulled over he read the officers his rights.
Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident, but he still managed to walk it off.
Chuck Norris is so awesome, he can dodge rain.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.