Chuck Norris can wipe rainwater from inside his car.
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Question: Why are hurricanes sometimes named after women?
Answer: When they come they’re wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them.
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
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There were these two blonds and they locked their keys in their car.
The one blonde says to the other, "What do we do? Do we get a coat hanger and pick the lock?"
The other one replied, "No, people will think we're trying to break in."
The other one said, "Well do we get a knife and cut the rubber and pop the lock?"
The other one answered," No, people will think we're too stupid to use the coat hanger."
The other one said, "Well we better think of something quick because it's starting to rain and the sunroof is open."
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As I shopped, the following announcement came over the department store's PA system:
"If someone here has a convertible with the top down, it just started raining. Towels are located in aisle five."
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The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway.
But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
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When Chuck Norris gets pulled over he read the officers his rights.
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Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident, but he still managed to walk it off.
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There is no such thing as global warming.
Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
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When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
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Chuck Norris doesn't sweat.
He forces the air around him to cry and uses it's tears to cool himself.
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