Chuck Norris can wipe rainwater from inside his car.
Question: Why are hurricanes sometimes named after women? Answer: When they come they’re wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them.
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Q: What is the sound of Chuck Norris clapping one hand? A: Thunder.
The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway. But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
As I shopped, the following announcement came over the department store's PA system: "If someone here has a convertible with the top down, it just started raining. Towels are located in aisle five."
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident, but he still managed to walk it off.
Chuck Norris doesn't sweat. He forces the air around him to cry and uses it's tears to cool himself.
When Chuck Norris gets pulled over he read the officers his rights.
Thunder is caused by Chuck Norris rubbing the stubble on his chin.