Chuck Norris is another name for Terror.
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Chuck Norris can put out fire with gasoline.
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They say that "You can't cheat Death", but Chuck Norris can beat it fairly.
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Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross.
Just never his own.
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Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car he walks.
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Chuck Norris removes the tag from mattresses, and mails them back to the company.
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Chuck Norris was mauled by a bear once, then the bear woke up and apologized.
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Lehman Brothers owed Chuck Norris a fiver.
When he asked for payback, well, you know the rest.
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Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you.
Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
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Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest.
Chuck Norris won by 5.
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Q: What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with Chuck Norris?
A: Nothing. Nobody crosses Chuck Norris.
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