Chuck Norris is another name for Terror.
Chuck Norris doesn't think he's better than everyone, everyone thinks Chuck Norris is better than them.
You don't invite Chuck Norris. He invites himself.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
When Chuck Norris wants salmon he eats the bear too.
Most kids pee their name into snow... Chuck Norris pisses his in concreate...
When Chuck Norris drives a Lamborghini, people assume the Llamborghini is compensating for something.
Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but even Jack couldn't avoid Chuck Norris' round house kick.
Chuck Norris never swam. Every time he was about to get in a pool the water ran away in terror!
When Chuck Norris was 5 he threw a paper airplane. It landed yesterday.
Kryptonite is ancient Latin for Chuck Norris