Anybody can outdo the impossible, but nobody can outdo Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris' feet are so fast, he can kick you in the past.
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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks, physics decides to shut up.
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There is a plaque laid next to the remnants of the Titanic which reads, "Only Chuck Norris is unsinkable"
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Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up.
Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
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The city of Dallas wanted to name a major street Chuck Norris Boulevard but decided against it because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives!
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Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked the turbines of Hoover Dam.
Since then, the Colorado River is a tourist attraction.
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Chuck Norris can make sounds come out on his Air Guitar.
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Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb.
On his penis.
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Elvis Presley, Richard Petty, Budweiser, and Michael Jackson all call Chuck Norris "The King".
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